Time for Introspection

Do you save time each day, or most days, for quiet introspection? I am talking about the level of introspection where you look into your mind and you find out what your real desires are. A level of introspection that I would consider “deep” is that level which allows you to come into touch with your values, beliefs, and deepest personal desires that you have in this life. Such a “deep” level of introspection may show you what your true convictions are and as a result, could bring you closer to allowing those convictions to construct and govern the foundation of who you are as a person. If you have attended this sort of introspection, maybe you are in touch with the type of person you want to be. Conversely, maybe you have found that there are certain things about yourself that are bothering you. Maybe you find some behavioral pattern that is not healthy, or there is some deep internal desire that you aren’t sure how to get in touch with until you become honest with yourself and search inside. Also, maybe if you saved time for quiet introspection, you might be able to release stresses that you have in your life that might prevent you from finding fulfilling happiness. There are other ways of releasing stresses in life and oftentimes people turn to alternative methods to bring about an altered mental state to release stresses or to become introspective. I’m not going to say that I am for or against this sort of tactic for achieving the level of introspection that people may be searching for. Indeed, many people, whether they admit it or not, use alcohol just for this purpose. My primary purpose in writing this is to reflect on the importance of saving time in your life for quiet introspection. It is this sort of introspection which will bring you more in touch with the kind of person you are and ultimately lead you toward the kind of person you wish to become.

I believe that without the deep level of introspection that I have described above, we are sure to be distracted from the basic values and convictions that govern our lives. If that is the case, might we say that we are only puppets of someone else’s agenda? So often in life we find ourselves rushing here or there to squeeze something extra into each day. These things, we justify, are productive in accomplishing some end result that we have in mind. Maybe they do help us accomplish one more task at work, but what if they actually distract us from being more in control of ourselves? They might prevent us from becoming the type of person that we want to become or from having the kind of thoughts we wish to prevail in our mind. Also, in western culture it is easy to find ourselves plugged into the media through internet and TV which, if left unchecked, can lead us into varying directions before we realize the change that has occurred. Of course, this is the point of advertising and political propaganda which dominates our media and internet. That is to say, the point of advertising and political propaganda is to ultimately get you to act in a certain way. In effect, they are bringing you further from the deep introspection that will help ensure that you are actually in control of your own life. To digress just for a second, this may bring up another biological AND philosophical debate. That is, can you ever be entirely in control of your own life. Richard Dawkins, evolutionary biologist, would say that we, as specimens of life, are only bags of genes walking about with little to no control over our collective actions (behavior) because those constituent genes govern our thoughts, activities, and desires and are the result of millions of years of tinkering which has been done by Mother Nature. In short, we are slaves to our genes because the humble gene governs EVERYTHING. Of course, this gene centered view of life falls apart somewhat with humans because of the complex societies that we have built. These complex societies and cultures have such a strong influence on how we behave that they have necessitated the formation of an entirely new branch of science – sociology. This, my noble and faithful readers, brings me around full circle to the original intention of this post and to the end of my digression. My apologies.

Excessive TV and internet consumption, as a result of advertising, distractions, or political propaganda may prevent you from finding the thoughts you wish to find. If you are aware of the deleterious effect that internet and TV can have on your introspection, you will be motivated to turn them off for a few minutes. Now, you can have your thoughts to yourself. You can scratch any itch that you may have that is a stressor from the day, you can work closer toward the kind of person you wish to be, and most importantly you can figure out what your deepest desires, feelings, values, and satisfactions are. Perhaps for me, this is why I love camping, listening to music which supports my current mood, running and cycling, sitting outside on a dark night gazing up at the stars, or just simply sitting in nature or in a quiet place. All of these things allow me to come more in contact with my own thoughts. I have the chance to see what they tell me and to interact with them by shaping them how I wish. I fear that if I never allowed myself the time to do this, it would never happen. I think this is also important in relationships and marriages. Further, I think that engaging in a serious relationship before allowing yourself to come closely in touch with your values and basic foundation of what drives your existence may preclude a successful marriage. Although it should be obvious from my previous posts about love and life, this is something I spend a lot of time thinking about. I find myself wondering what leads to successful relationships and marriages. Different people may have different answers based on religious views or sociological influences, but regardless, I think that a good understanding of the basic foundation of what you regard as key to your existence is important. The basis of this foundation includes your values, your partner’s values, and your moral compass, among other things.  If it were not for trial and error through introspection, you may not be able to find the basis of this foundation.

As with the other blog posts I have made, this is a central theme in my Peace Corps experience. I have A LOT of time. Sure, I have lessons to prepare for my students, a foreign language to learn, and locals to interact with, but that only consumes a small percentage of my time. Outside of that, I have my thoughts. I stop watching the movie or TV show which is preoccupying me on my laptop, usually turn on some music and think about things. I think about thinking. I think about life, love, and finding fulfillment in what I do. One thing I have been absolutely convinced of is that at the end of the day if you can say that you love yourself, then you have already made progress along the path toward living a fulfilling life. It’s true that having a person or people that you love in varying degrees to share your life with is essential, but I feel as if that will be much more likely if you love and understand yourself first. I think you can become closer to finding that sort of love and understanding if you save some time for deep introspection. Give it a shot and see what you find. It could lead to fulfilling and beautiful things.

What's in a Name?

Allow me to begin by apologizing for the significant length of time since my last blog post. I have decided that I want to blog when I feel most inspired to write something that I am spending time thinking about, which as it turns out, is almost every day. You may wonder then, why have I not been blogging more often? It is a good question, indeed, and the best answer I can give is that I have been lazy. I have spent time thinking and talking to a few of my friends here about some of the things on my mind, but I just haven’t been entirely motivated to put fingers to keys and type it out. Another thing I would like to mention, and apologize for ahead of time, is that the title of this blog post is somewhat deceiving. In fact, I don’t plan to write at all about names, their meanings, their associations with particular cultures, or how they affect the way a person is perceived. Indeed, that is another discussion I would like to have with myself, and then share with you. So, why then have I titled this blog in this way? I will attempt to answer this question in the following paragraphs.

After coming to Tanzania, I began learning Swahili. I must say that my thoughts regarding language acquisition have shifted somewhat after learning this language and then subsequently trying to live in the culture that speaks it. Before coming here, I took a foreign language in high school like everyone else, but the difference is that I was still living in America and when I left the classroom I could speak English. I didn’t have to rely on the Spanish I was learning to communicate needs or converse with people. Further, I was able to connect with the people I interacted with on a deeper level because we shared commonality in language. Once I hit the ground in Tanzania, I still had other Americans I saw every day during training, so all was not entirely lost. Fast forwarding 10 weeks, though, I found myself on my own and in my village with only Swahili speakers. Sure, I could communicate basic needs and converse a little, but the ability to connect with people on a deeper emotional and intellectual level was completely gone. Luckily, I have a phone and can call other PCV’s, but for all intents and purposes, I found myself immediately separated from the people I lived with.

As my Swahili has been improving, I have noticed a few things about language acquisition and how I now think about it. One can think about learning a new language as merely learning new words, comparing them to your native language, and trying in earnest to remember them. Of course then, you are faced with the task of trying to access the databank of knowledge that is the foreign language, as you try to form sentences and converse with people. It’s probably the case that you don’t stop comparing a foreign language to your native one until much later in the stages of learning the language, but what if we think about new language acquisition a little differently? Using the scenario that I have just described, we can think of language as a large set of words or phrases which are memorized so that you are capable of hearing the words, translating them to your native language, formulating a response in your native language, translating that response, and then delivering it to the opposing party. In other words, learning a new language is like learning a bunch of new definitions. I have decided though, that a language is so much more than this. A language is in the culture and in the people. It is one way that people express commonality in culture, by having similar ways of verbally and non-verbally communicating with each other. In fact, if this is the case, it becomes evident why one could expect various dialects of a language to exist. The particular dialect has been largely influenced by the culture in which it has developed. The words may be similar, but are used slightly differently or there may be entirely new words present in the language. Compare British English and American English. Also, think of communicating at the global level. Many people with different native languages communicate in English as a means to an end, and that can be really interesting as they each bring their own language and cultural influences to the linguistic table.

At this point, allow me to back up for a second with the way that we think about language. At the most basic level, a word is nothing more than a random arrangement of letters that we have decided to give a particular meaning to. For any critics reading this blog, let me clarify the previous statement. It is true that some words are formed as a result of adhering to specific rules set forth in a language. For example, the contraction “can’t” is spelled the way it is because we have rules in the English language that say that the word “cannot”, when used as a contraction, must be spelled this way. Therefore, by definition “can’t” is not a random arrangement of letters. Of course, other words are of historic origin from the most primitive languages and by virtue of being borrowed words or derivatives of borrowed words, they can’t be considered as consisting of a random arrangement of letters. When we think about the foundations of language, however, the random arrangement of letters makes sense. I can speculate that as we evolved and began writing things down, we assigned particular characters to particular sounds that we made when we communicated. Language can be thought of as an agreed upon, standardized way of communicating with people who decided to play by the same rules of that particular language. In that sense, a word or symbol is nothing more than an agent for provoking a particular response or feeling in an individual. We developed characters or letters, arranged them in some order, and assigned a particular meaning to them. We decided that when we see a particular “word” or symbol we will react in a certain way if we have learned or decided to play by the rules of that language.

In accordance with the previous discussion, we can say that as you have been exposed to a language and culture for long enough, you have been trained to respond to a set of verbal and non-verbal cues such that you are now able to adequately connect with the people you are interacting with. This sort of training is something that undoubtedly takes years of exposure to completely master. For example, at the present moment, I would say that I have become much more comfortable with my Swahili, but I still encounter challenges adequately understanding or formulating proper responses in social encounters. I can listen to what people have to say, understand their words, be able to translate them into English, but still not be entirely clear what the message is. The cultural or social context within which the word or words was used is unfamiliar to me, and not necessarily the words. The entire package that is “language fluency” is so much more than just understanding the definition of words. As I have learned it is also about being coached to produce a particular feeling or emotion when a word is heard within a particular social or cultural context. This indeed takes time, but rest assured I am working on it!

At this point, I should tie up a loosed end or two by clarifying my seemingly random title. I have only chosen this title because, as you know, I am in Africa at the moment, The Lion King was filmed in Africa (yes it was), and “what’s in a name” is a line said by Timon during the song “Hakuna Matata”. Further, I have decided that this title makes sense because, as far as I am concerned, “what’s in a name?” means something more like “the process of learning a new language, as Travis has experienced in Tanzania”. Of course, we can agree that these two arrangements of words do not convey the same meaning because we have been taught otherwise. If everyone would agree with my language revolution and then trained themselves long enough, we could eventually change the meaning of this phrase such that it evokes a different feeling or mindset when we hear it. The point I am trying to make is that a language is one of many agreed upon ways of conveying a particular message to another individual because it is capable of evoking a particular emotional response or mindset when used as dialogue between two communicators. We are trained, as learners, in our respective cultural context to produce this particular mindset or emotional response after we have been exposed to our language and culture for a significant period of time. It is my opinion, therefore, that it would be a pity to think of “language” as simply a bunch of words with associated definitions that are only memorized and then used in conversation.

In other news, I have been at my site for about 6 weeks now and all is going well. I started teaching a few weeks ago and the students are getting more used to me. At first, I practically had to threaten them to get them to talk to me in the classroom. Yes, I am joking but they didn’t want to talk in any language. I wasn’t entirely sure if they were shy because I was new or if they have just been taught to not speak in the classroom. After insisting it was OK if they talked to me, provided it was relevant to the lesson, they opened up a bit more. Outside of teaching, I feel as if I am integrating well into my community and I have begun talking more and more with the locals. In fact, many people are now calling me by name, and if they haven’t seen me for a few days some even call me on the phone to check up on me. Can you say INTEGRATION! I have also begun talking to some of the students about starting some groups outside of school, but there is no rush on that since I just got here. Basically, the groups could be anything from informal hangouts and talking in formal groups where we discuss teen issues, educate the villagers about various issues (e.g. HIV/AIDS, Malaria, etc), or even participate with nationwide youth groups carrying out fundraisers, or doing small business development projects. The small business development projects would be cool because I could teach them everything from managerial skills to opening a bank account and even creating some product or service and marketing it to a particular target audience within a given niche in the village. I will let you know more about that as time passes, though.

Also, a few words if any of my loyal readers want to send me anything in the mail. One of the biggest things I miss is letters, American candy, and American media, including new release movies, TV shows, and music! Of course, you’d send that on a flash drive. If you did want to send that, I would definitely appreciate it, but just contact me on Facebook first to make sure I don’t already have what you would send. You never realize how much you liked American pop music until you hear it in Tanzania. It makes you feel American for the moment. Candy has a similar effect! If you wanted to mail something, my address is

Travis Kocurek, PCV

P.O. Box 75

Gallapo Secondary School

Babati, Manyara, Tanzania

Also, if you do mail something a flat rate bag/large envelope is best. You can cram as much as you want into it for one price and the bags are better than flat rate boxes because as far as I understand, I won’t have to pay customs on them. The larger flat rate boxes are a little trickier in terms of avoiding customs fees. Thank you all so much for the support, and to my close friends and family, I love you all! Take care and stay in touch!!

Travis

Observations on Love, Life, and Afterlife

Before arriving in Tanzania, I had numerous thoughts regarding the importance of love and beliefs in a person’s life. I have had discussions with different people, many of whom are some of my best friends and may or may not share the same ideas as I do, but nonetheless they have challenged me and stimulated deep thought on important topics. “Important topics”, I should qualify, are those which I feel deeply about and consequently affect (and reflect) the values and proceedings in my own life. In short, they are topics which define the person I am. I have never written about some of these ideas, but now I have the time and at least 2 readers of my blog who may be interested in what I have to say.

Now that I am in a situation where I have had time to think and organize some of my thoughts, I have decided to tackle the task of putting “pen to paper” and conveying some of these ideas in the best way I know: to escape to a place where I am motivated to write and am able to organize these ideas with minimal digression. I should reiterate that these ideas are only those which are important to me and I am not advocating that they are the best nor most appropriate way to lead one’s life. Also, you may or may not agree to some of them, but in any case I hope you will enjoy what I have to say and be stimulated to think a bit.

Let me begin by talking about the importance of love and passion in life. I believe there are several different levels of love and I will try to thoroughly explain what love means to me and why I feel as if it is so important to love. Firstly, there is the love that you have for other human beings, in general. In my case, this is something that I have realized is a struggle, but important nevertheless. It is really easy to be spiteful or to have some degree of hatred toward others, especially after they have wronged you. Perhaps it is even easier to be envious of the possessions or accomplishments of others. Maybe you have predetermined ideas about a person or a race and thus, will not be proactive in taking the opportunity to learn from and understand that person or group of people. I make the argument, however that this is not the best way to conduct one’s life. To live with hatred or envy of others in your heart will blind you from the experience of truly experiencing and learning from those people. Maybe they have come from a background very different from your own, have experienced different things, and identify with a different culture or sub-culture, but why should this preclude interaction with these people? Further, why should this prevent you from understanding and embracing the differences that you share with this person or group of people? Is your culture or lifestyle superior in some way? As I have blogged about before, I believe that happiness is the gold standard in life and different people have different ways of finding happiness. Maybe it is true, however, that if you learn about other people you will also learn some things about yourself, and in the end, find more happiness than you had ever imagined. Of course, this would not be possible if you had proceeded with envy in your heart and hatred in your actions. Maybe it is also possible that the happiness you might experience has come about because you have had a rich life experience while you were interacting with and learning from other people. Life, I believe, is about experiencing the unknown, learning as much as you can, and trying your best to find happiness in all that you do. If you can live life with love in your heart, I think it will be easier to find true happiness.

As I have mentioned, I believe that love exists on multiple levels. Different from the general feeling of love you may have for other human beings, you have love for your close friends and love for the culture with which you identify. I believe it is so important to realize that human beings value their culture and identity. Why not celebrate the fact that we are all capable of living with such passion and thus, embrace any differences we may share? Use these differences as an opportunity to learn and grow within yourself. Maybe you will learn more than you thought you would. Perhaps you will meet new friends that you wouldn’t otherwise have met, and they will affect change in you that will be for the best. Maybe you will learn that it is possible to love other human beings that you wouldn’t have previously realized you could. In any scenario, you may be exposed to views different from your own and this will stimulate personal inflection that will ultimately affect the type of person you become.

Then, of course, there is the love that you have for your work or daily proceedings which may, in part, identify who you are. In my case, I was formerly a competitive distance runner. This was how I identified myself, and if you had taken that away from me, I would not have been left the same person. I loved what I did and I loved the teammates that I did it with. Because I loved what I did, it was remarkable how satisfied I felt once my collegiate running career was over. I wasn’t satisfied that it was over, but satisfied that I could be honest with myself with the effort and passion that I put into what I did. I often wondered while I was still on the team how I would identify myself once it was over. Perhaps this was due to vanity on my part or an insistence that nothing else mattered besides my running, but in the end other things came along and I was accepting of the new things because I was content. Of course, the teammates and friends that I had strongly influenced my outlook and the passion that I put into what I did. When you are surrounded by people who approach their work (or in my case, training) with passion, you can’t help but be motivated to do the same. Passion is contagious. If you proceed with passion, you give yourself the best possible chance to be happy in the end because you know you have been honest with yourself and with your efforts. Ultimately, if you can be honest with yourself and with your efforts because you have proceeded with love and passion, the chances of you being happy in the end will be much greater.

This brings me to another point. Because we aren’t really guaranteed anything beyond what we have right now in this one moment, we can think of love and passion as a finite resource that we are capable of possessing and investing. If we measure success in our life by the amount of love we invest into our friends, romantic relationships, and proceedings, we realize that where we are investing our love, we are investing our life*. To clarify, we are only capable of loving ourselves, others, and our work to the point when we are no longer alive. At this point, the basic molecules which comprise our body are recycled for use by future life on this planet, and the only thing left by us is the love we have given others. Hopefully we have served as an example of the power of love for future generations and our spirit, for lack of a better term, can live on through them. Perhaps this is the best way to think about an afterlife, as a way to live on through others because you have shown them love, given them love, or affected change in them such that they are proceeding with the love that you previously had. As I have also previously mentioned, my best friends that I have in this life have affected such change in me by serving as examples and challenging me when I needed to be challenged. I’m not quite sure what more a person could ask for in their friends and role models, but it would be a pity to fail to acknowledge the change a person has undergone by continuing to proceed without love and passion in their life. Maybe you will affect such change in others and they will be able to carry out their life in a similar way. In any case, maybe they will begin to understand the importance of experiencing life with passion in their proceedings and love in their heart. I could only hope that this will result in a rich life experience and the realization that regardless of culture and nationality, we are all members of the same human race, are all made of the same basic ingredients, and for the most part, all have the same basic desires to love and be loved.

Now as I begin to conclude, allow me to say that I have decided that it is best to approach life and pursuits with love and passion. The happiness that I experience when I have decided to approach my work and relationships with love, as I have previously defined, goes much further than the superficial happiness that material possessions can bring. If you approach your life with love and passion, maybe you can affect others by showing them the true happiness that passion and love can bring them. If you can’t say you ended with the best of all possible outcomes, at least you can say that you have given all of the love you possibly could have to the person or pursuit. Maybe you have learned about other people, yourself, or have affected change in another person. Perhaps once you are gone you will continue to live on in the form of the love and passion you have given them. Realizing that this frame of mind is capable of bringing you happiness is such a humbling thought; primarily because it only requires a decision on your part. This, for me, is a great way to measure happiness in life.

*“In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. And where you invest your love, you invest your life.”   -Mumford and Sons

Quick recent happenings in Tanzania: I am nearing the end of training and will be sworn in as a PCV in less than 1 week! I am so excited to finally be able to move into my own home and to call myself a “PCV”. I have finished all final exams, have done well, and will be allowed to swear in. Not that it was necessarily difficult, but I still had to meet minimum standards with technical training and language proficiency. I will leave my host family and Morogoro this Saturday and will spend a few days in Dar es Salaam next week. I will then be sworn in on Wednesday the 15^th and will travel to my site on the 16^th. I have so much I want to accomplish at my school and things that I want to do in and around my house! Hopefully I can find the time and energy for it all. I also hope to have more good news to share about my village, school, and site, as time progresses. For now, stay in touch, and to my friends and family: I hope you are all doing well back in the States and I love you all! Take care.

-Travis

Decisions in Life and in Peace Corps

Our lives are guided by the decisions we make. From the time we awake, to the time we close the day; we have to make decisions about what we will do with the time that we have that day. In many instances these decisions are trivial, such as what to have for breakfast or which clothes to wear for the day. But we sometimes may forget about the bigger decisions that we have made in our lives. The decisions that have a large bearing on our futures are the ones that have led us to the place that we are today. We may find ourselves in an extremely unfortunate situation and wonder how we got there. Or conversely, we may find ourselves in a favorable situation and understand all of the key moments in our journey that have led us to that particular moment. To be able to make the best choice among alternatives for the decisions you are making requires that you understand yourself. Specifically, you must understand your values, beliefs, desires, and your criteria for happiness. If you have established a sense of self and have been honest in your assessment of your values and criteria for happiness, making the best possible decision will be easier. A caveat to that, however, is that trying to make the best possible decision after you place strict criteria on the desired outcome may lead to disappointment. Perhaps the best possible outcome in the end is not necessarily what you had envisioned at the beginning. Assuming a priori that you know exactly where you want to end up may prevent you from enjoying the journey that brought you to the destination. It is possible that you have missed something along the way; or that your focused attention on the destination has led to a missed opportunity which could have led you to a different and possibly better place. What if you had established a clear vision of where you think you wanted to end up, but were flexible along the course, and ultimately allowed the destination to find you? Is there a possibility that you would have found much more than you had originally imagined? Maybe if you had been flexible and had welcomed the uncertainties in the journey, you would have ended up being more satisfied in the long run. Because you can’t predict what the future will bring, and can only assess your happiness in the present, you may be more likely to end up in a place you want to be if you make your decisions based on where you think you want to be, but maintain flexibility as the journey unfolds.

Finding the best outcome following a decision also requires significant patience and the capacity to observe and listen. In assessing the possible outcomes and direction you would like to see yourself moving in the future, you made a decision based on the information and knowledge that you had at the time you encountered the impending decision. Of course, the person who made the decision is not the same who exists today. You have been exposed to culture and other people’s ideas. You have also grown into a person who may no longer have the same desires, or even values, that made the original decision. Realizing that the same person who made the decision no longer exists in quite the same way is fundamental to understanding why it is so important to remain flexible in your expectations following a decision, especially a decision with significant lifelong repercussions. Maybe you had planned that a particular result would come and you knew exactly how you would react after the result came. What if the result never came? Will you still be happy? Will you be able to cope with the disappointment of a “failed” outcome? Maybe if you had made a decision to proceed in a given direction in your life because you think it will provide you with more opportunities to continue finding happiness, you would not have found disappointment. Perhaps even further, you will find something (or someone) along the way that (who) you never imagined you would find. Maybe the situation would be even greater than what you had previously assumed you would find. In short, if you made a decision and then lived for the experience encompassed in that decision rather than the outcome, you may find more happiness with your decision than if you had abruptly ended up at the final destination and ignored the unexpected occurrences.

I think Peace Corps experience is largely defined by this state of mind. If you come in with expectations of what you want to do, who you want to meet, where you want to end up, and the type of person you want to be by the end of service, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. Of course, you can’t predict the people you will meet, the site where you will end up, or the person you will be when you close your service. It would be a pity to assume that you knew the answers to these uncertainties and to define your success by a “favorable” outcome to your decision to join Peace Corps. Things will happen along the way, you will meet people you hadn’t expected to meet and hopefully you will continue to find satisfaction and happiness in the work that you do and the relationships that you have built. If you stop, for just a second, during your journey and pay attention to what you are doing and the people you are building relationships with, hopefully you will be able to see the satisfaction that your work and counterparts are bringing you.

My intention in composing my thoughts tonight is not to advocate a completely passive approach to life or decision making. I do feel, however, that a clearly defined sense of self and values will ultimately allow you to develop into a person you want to be, bring you to a place where you are happy, and allow you to build relationships that are satisfying. In addition, if you are following the path which has been laid out by your decision and you find something or someone that is truly special, it would be a pity to let the opportunity, or person, pass you by. Maybe you were more focused on the destination and were moving too quickly to identify what you missed. If you had been paying attention, observing, and listening perhaps you would have found something far greater than you had imagined. Of course in such a circumstance, you need to pay attention to your senses. What do you feel? What do you hear? What do you see? What is your heart telling you? If you think that you have any idea that there is a previously unexpected opportunity ahead of you, you need to be proactive to ensure that you give it adequate attention. You need to find out what the opportunity means and where it could lead you. If you don’t know anything else except that the opportunity or relationship brings you true happiness, then you need to devote enough attention and energy to find out. In short, you need to make a decision.

Today, as I sit and write this blog post I am on the other side of site announcement day. I will be placed at Gallapo Secondary School outside of Babati Town in the southern Manyara region of Tanzania. I am about a 4 hour bus trip from Kilimanjaro. I will be teaching Biology and possibly an additional subject if time and energy allows. The school has expressed a need for a math teacher as well, but we will see about that. My primary duty is going to be Biology, and I plan to devote the greatest attention to that. Also, I will need to establish relationships within the community fairly quickly so I can integrate in an efficient manner. I am becoming more and more comfortable with Swahili, so I think it will be relatively easy to meet people, converse a bit, and establish relationships with the villagers. I am presently shadowing another PCV at her site and getting to see first-hand how a PCV lives. I think it is great! I am very excited to get to my village, see my house, and begin making it a home. Today, I went to my shadow PCV’s school and met some of her fellow teachers, her headmaster, and some of her students. It was very fun and I was conversing for 30-45 minutes with the students kuhusu vitu vingi vya Tanzania na Marekani (concerning many things about Tanzania and America). I would say I am much more comfortable when I speak, am developing an ability to hear the words as they are spoken by others, and consequently, it is much easier for me to find the things I want to say as I speak to others. I can’t wait until I can become fluent!! It is very exciting to be actually conversing (rather than just spitting out memorized phrases) in another language. Also, yesterday I baked my first loaf of bread since arriving in Africa! It was AWESOME #IMISSMYBROCLINTANDERSWHOWOULDHAVELOVEDTHIS!!! The only downside was that it wasn’t very aesthetically pleasing because the loaf kind of collapsed because I let it proof too long, plus the flour is not high protein, and thus isn’t form gluten as well. But, you better believe that the first thing I did after it was done was cut a warm piece, and ongeza (add) siagi ya karanga (peanut butter) and jam! The peanut butter here is phenomenal. It was truly AWESOME! Today, we baked cupcakes and will take them to my shadow PCV’s neighbor’s house for dinner. Everyone here insists on inviting you for chakula (food). It is very nice and the food is always incredible! Of course, we are doing all of this baking without an oven, so that makes it that much more fun. We have a large dutch oven and are placing coals under it to achieve the oven effect. Works like a charm. I still want to build a brick oven at site, but at least I know of a feasible alternative that works in the meantime.

The weather here is AMAZING. I finally feel like I am in truly in rural Africa at my shadow PCV’s site (My site is about an hour away). There are large plains where you can see for miles in any direction. It is a desert ecosystem where I am now, so it is very reminiscent of far west Texas. I really love it. I can’t speak on my site yet, but I would not have been disappointed if I were placed here! I believe my site will be a little greener, but the temperature may be similar. This morning I ran and was legitimately cold. Pole sana (very sorry) to my friends in Texas who are braving the heat right now, but where I am, there is almost no humidity and the temperature is very cool, even cold. The place I am currently at is on the southern rim of the Great Rift Valley, not far from Kenya, so I can’t help but think of myself running in a place a lot like the great Kenyan distance runners. Of course, I am a slug in comparison but it is still fun. Also, I must say that because I am placed in the north, it will be very feasible to run the Kilimanjaro ½ or full marathon! Again, depending on time constraints I may do the ½ the first year and the full the next. Also, if I ask an mtoto (child) to sign me up I only have to pay 5,000tsh (~$3.25USD) to run the marathon. Of course, the race swag won’t be as good as a race in the states, but the race is very big, has solid sponsors, legitimate aid stations, and the view of Kili. I can’t think of a more awesome place to run a legitimate marathon for so cheap. You are also able to use it as a qualifier for the Comrades Marathon (I believe), so it will be legit enough.

As I begin to wind this blog post up, I can report that I am still moving along well. I am happy. I am simply living life and finding satisfaction in each day. I am enjoying the relationships I have built and am building. I have met people I didn’t expect to meet, and am missing one in particular. For now, I will continue to listen, observe, and go in the direction that is providing the greatest happiness as I am living my Peace Corps experience. Andy Dufrain from The Shawshank Redemption, in regards to his unfortunate situation in Shawshank Prison, said “…you gotta get busy living or get busy dying...” He found out a way to improve upon his situation and DECIDED to do something about it. So for now, I will continue LIVING an experience that has been fulfilling. I miss my friends and family back home. You know who you are, and I love you all very much. I hope you are doing well and I look forward to talking to you all sometime soon. Take care!  

Thoughts on Life in Morogoro

How we perceive and enjoy our lives is strongly affected by our mindset in a given situation, as well as our relationship with ourselves and others. We are also pleasure seeking creatures, as happiness is the gold standard in anyone’s life. As a result, we like to surround ourselves with people or situations that make us happy, bring out the best in us, or at least provide us with an opportunity to seek happiness. We love the feeling we get when we know that we are genuinely happy. What’s even more incredible is the happiness that two people can bring to each other in a relationship – romantic or just as friends. Often times, it seems as if nothing can bring us such happiness. There are also times when everything seems just perfect. As if nothing that anybody could do could bring you down at that moment in time. Unfortunately, maintaining genuine happiness is a struggle in a dynamic world. With each fleeting moment of happiness, you risk encountering a hard ship. In other words, you risk encountering a situation that will make you unhappy. But this really doesn’t matter to you - especially during that one moment when everything seems perfect. Maybe you are doing an activity that brought you the happiness, or you are with a person that you love to be around. You can only hope that the activity or the person will continue to bring you the amount of happiness that you are feeling at that one moment. At the very least, you hope that you will experience that same feeling one more time in the future. Maybe that is what motivates you to keep training hard after you run a personal best time, or you wake up every morning next to someone who you genuinely love. You love seeing their smile every morning. Maybe this is what keeps the bond strong between the two people. Whatever the case may be, such happiness is second to none.

Observing and seeking this sort of happiness has been an important theme so afar in my Peace Corps life. I left a comfortable situation with friends and family that made me happy. I assumed I would find a way to be happy in Peace Corps, but there were uncertainties. I wasn’t sure of the type of people I would meet or the relationships I would form. I especially wasn’t sure of how I would perceive the culture, how the culture would perceive me, and most importantly, how I would adapt to the unfamiliar culture and situation. I prepared mentally and emotionally, I brainstormed expectations with friends and family at home, and finally I went for it.

Fast forwarding one month, I can only report happiness. I have met people here that will undoubtedly become lifelong friends. I found myself smiling A LOT yesterday (July 7) while on the safari in Mikumi National Park. Of course, there were specific reasons for that, but I found myself to be so happy with the people I was with and the situation I was in. The bus we were on wasn’t the best and the seats hurt my ass, but it was all great! I have also come to notice how happy people in Tanzania seem to be. Everyone is eager to greet and maintaining relationships between people far exceeds any other tasks a person has to do. I have also become keenly aware of the pride that many Tanzanians have. They LOVE the fact that they live here. Many people in America have a preconceived idea that Africans all need help. They need food, better leadership, more money, a better house, a car, etc. etc. Sure, politics can create problems in many African countries. There is corruption among the leaders of the country. I would argue, though, that corruption exists similarly in America. Maybe we don’t have the same immediate repercussions or deleterious effects on national development, but we have plenty of issues of our own. As far as other luxuries go, I’m not so sure that the people here would care to have these things. Most people are very well fed, they have ways to get around, and they are very happy. It’s amazing how that works.

In terms of help, yes, I can help. I have had access to an education that many Tanzanians will never have access to. This is the reality and it is a luxury to live in a well-developed country and have access to quality education. I will be able to bring knowledge and ideas to the classroom that many Tanzanian educators can’t. But what I am really beginning to learn, and am very excited about, is how they will HELP ME. I have already developed a tremendous amount of patience. I have learned their culture and (some of) their language. I would say every day I become more and more “Tanzanian”. I find myself looking around and thinking “Wow! This long wait for a bus sucks!” or “This way too cramped bus would never work in America!” I also haven’t found myself searching for anything, but I feel as if I am finding everything. I’m finding satisfaction in adapting to my new culture, greeting people as I walk to the bus stop every morning, and making the 70 minute, 10 mile commute back home after training each day. Of course I found happiness in things back in America and I am not trying to paint a “Mayberry” type of picture. The point I am trying to make is that I feel fulfilled by just about every aspect of my life right now. In Tanzania, I have been able to find pleasure in a lot of different things (some things that are maybe strange by different standards). Perhaps the same things wouldn’t have given me the same pleasure back home in the states. Maybe they would, but it took a different perspective to realize them. I already find myself fast forwarding 26 months in my mind and thinking how I will be different when I get back to America. It seems to me that this is what is so exciting about Peace Corps service. You are forced to find happiness in very basic things. Often times, you manufacture happiness in a crappy situation and you learn more about yourself in the process. In the perspective of my new culture, I have learned the value of relationships with people. In the perspective of being a Peace Corps Volunteer, I have learned the value of the friends you have and have recently made if you didn’t already realize it. Your friends back home are great, but they probably can’t really relate in exactly the same way to the challenges you face during the progression of your service. The initial highs, the culture shock if it’s a problem, problems learning the language, challenges adjusting to your new site and host community (which I can’t comment on at the moment), etc. You really do build a support network that will be essential to successful service with the friends you meet here. You find ways to keep each other happy. By the end of training, you are left primarily with your skills, your PCV friends, and your thoughts. You have to figure out the rest and make the best of it.

This, I think, is one of the most humbling parts of Peace Corps that I have realized so far. I expect that I will have to find ways to be happy in the long run. I genuinely feel, though, that this will be possible. I think I came in with the right mind set; I have ushered in truckloads of patience, and left any expectations in America. As I mentioned earlier, I have already found some really great things that I never expected I would find. So, as it is, I will continue living my Peace Corps life one day at a time, eagerly waiting to see what the future will bring. I expect I will have to continue to adapt as problems come, but that is my strength. I can handle it. I am excited about the prospects!

To move on to more specific (and less abstract) things, training has been going along about the same as I have said before. Language is still a challenge, but I continue to improve. This coming week marks the mid-point of training, and as such, we have mid-terms! Mid-term language tests, most importantly. I will let you all know how that goes… Yesterday (July 7), I had the opportunity to see some incredible animals on our safari! There were many giraffes, elephants, baboons, zebras, hippos and gazelles. Unfortunately, I did not get to see any lions, but it was still a great trip. At one point, we stepped off the bus to take pictures of the hippos in a pond and I remember looking around thinking “Holy Shit!! I’m in the middle of an African savannah!!! I could get eaten by a lion or bitten by a cobra!!!” It was nuts, but so much fun! I have posted a few select pictures on Facebook, so you should check those out if you haven’t already. Of course, I took many more than what are posted on my page. After the safari, we stayed at “Hotel Genesis”. It was a really nice place and we had a blast. We had a grand time dancing most of the night, while drinking fine (said sarcastically) Tanzanian pombe J. There are some great stories to be told about last night, but that will be for another time and not in a public domain ;)

As I wrap up, I will leave you with my upcoming schedule: I begin my internship teaching this coming week. I will be teaching Form 1(~8^th grade or so in the states) Biology for 3 weeks. Also this coming week, I will have the mid-term evaluations for language! Hopefully those go well.. In two and a half weeks I will learn my future site, and have the opportunity to go there for a week, as well as shadow another PCV during that time. It will be essential that I take in as much information as I can during that week, before I move to the site on my own. In short, there are a lot of exciting things coming up in training, so stay posted as I keep you updated on how things are progressing!

I hope you are all doing well back home. Stay in touch and enjoy!!

Travis