BAMM!

Did you know that April is Blog About Malaria Month (BAMM)? This is an initiative that was started by Stomp Out Malaria, a U.S. Peace Corps initiative that was started on April 25^th, 2011 as the Initiative was launched at the World Malaria Day event at Peace Corps Headquarters in Washington D.C. The Stomp Out Malaria initiative has become a collaboration between Peace Corps Volunteers in the field, US Government malaria prevention professionals at partner agencies, Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs), and concerned host country institutions across Africa. Through this collaboration, malaria “stomp out” workers have been able to enhance inter-organizational communication, while achieving the common goal of putting an end to this deadly illness. In addition, field workers, such as PCVs, are essential to the success of such an initiative because they have the greatest impact at the grassroots level. That is, PCVs are in a unique position to become change agents for their community as they bring the initiative from the door step of Peace Corps headquarters to the classrooms, villages, and hospitals that need this assistance most. Those same classrooms, hospitals, and villages have been the primary site for Malaria related illnesses and deaths prior to any significant illness-reduction intervention. Unfortunately, we have not yet entirely eradicated this problem, but significant progress has been made. In fact, in 2005 alone the World Health Organization estimated that nearly 1 million malaria-caused deaths occurred in the world and 90% of those were in Sub-Saharan Africa*. In 2010 however, WHO estimated that the number of deaths had dropped to 655,000*, and a majority of this reduction has occurred because of increased availability of Long Lasting Insecticide Treated Nets (LLINs). In fact, ensuring universal bed net coverage is one of the primary goals of the Initiative. Because of the strong reduction in Malaria related deaths over that 5 year span, it is clear that much of the work done prior to the launch of the Stomp Out Malaria initiative has been successful. Furthermore, on its Facebook page the Initiative states, “While malaria remains a deadly threat to young children and pregnant women in sub-Saharan Africa, according to a recent WHO analysis, the lives of 750,000 children have been saved over the past decade through malaria prevention efforts. With the continued expansion of these endeavors, three million more lives can be saved by 2015”*, highlighting the fact that progress has come. Although this reduction is substantial, more work must be done, and this is the focus of the Stomp Out Malaria Initiative. In addition to ensuring that bed net coverage is universal, the Initiative is working hard to introduce more skilled community health care workers who are capable of diagnosing and treating this illness in the home. This is accomplished by frequent training and/or placement of health workers, as well as teachers in areas where their services are needed*. Peace Corps Volunteers have the ability to work closely with many of the health care workers in the areas where they are placed to help carry out this mission, especially if they work in the health sector of Peace Corps. In particular, Peace Corps places volunteers in places where malaria rates are still high, while also giving them the tools to represent such a change agent within the community that they are serving. For example, at my site near Babati, Manyara, Tanzania, I have primarily focused on educational type on interventions. Unfortunately, I am not a trained health care worker, but that is no reason to suggest I can’t make a change. I have currently been carrying out the soccer program, ZINDUKA, which I have previously blogged about. Although ZINDUKA primarily focuses on HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention, it also delves into the Malaria realm. Specifically, this program seeks to ensure that participants understand that Malaria CAN KILL those who are bitten by the plasmodium carrying female Anopheles mosquito. Because this mosquito feeds on humans and primarily during the evening and nighttime hours, using a net properly is essential. As such, ZINDUKA educates the kids about this reality while also carrying out a session for specifically learning how to properly handle, set up, and maintain an LLIN. In addition to this program, I will also be carrying out World Malaria Day (Thursday 25 April 2013) activities at my school. In fact, just today I had an educational session with 10 enthusiastic and motivated students who also want to participate in the activities. I began the session by starting with facts about malaria, including how the illness starts (that is, how the plasmodium, carried by the female Anopheles mosquito, enters the person’s blood, travels to their liver where it stays for a period of approximately 10-28 days in order to reproduce, and then is released into the blood where it attacks the red blood cells, effectively eliminating or severely diminishing their oxygen-carrying capabilities**), numbers of yearly reported malaria-caused sickness and deaths in the world and Sub-Saharan Africa, and false beliefs regarding the transmission and treatment of malaria. Also, other activities we plan to do include arriving early into the classrooms to decorate the blackboards with messages and pictures commemorating the day, as well as a small play which we will present for all of the students. As a part of this, the kids will have an opportunity to showcase their creativity in a fun format, while also serving as ambassadors for their fellow students as they relay the key messages to the student body via this play, as well as actually reading important messages to the audience. By giving this small group of individuals accurate knowledge regarding malaria, they will have the potential to serve as change agents for the rest of their lives. Living in a place where it is a real concern, they will be able to educate their fellow Tanzanians about the problem and correct ways to avoid the issue. My hope is that they see themselves as being such important change agents and take advantage of this ability. As is often the case in a place with limited resources, such as is common in the African village, projects or initiatives without proper care, education, or motivated individuals can fall through the cracks. By educating a group of seemingly motivated kids about a problem which is very relevant to them, my intuition tells me that this will not be the case. Because they are serving as ambassadors for their fellow students, while also entertaining them, hopefully their message sticks. In addition, hopefully they can support the Initiative by spreading the news for anyone who will listen, especially if they know someone who has or has had malaria. In any case, with the number of people being educated by the Stomp Out Malaria Initiative steadily increasing, the chance of reaching the Initiative’s goal of zero malaria-related deaths by 2015 could become a reality.

*Much of the information regarding dates and numbers has been taken from the Stomp Out Malaria webpage at www.Stompoutmalaria.org, as well as its associated Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/StompOutMalaria/info.
 **Peace Corps Tanzania Volunteer's Health Handbook 2012 pgs. 43-47

Something New and Different

Allow me to preface this blog post by saying that this post is a slight deviation from my normal posts. This deviation is not major, indeed it is still about thoughts which I am having during my Peace Corps service but as you will see, my desire to blog about these thoughts were motivated by one particular event – namely, by me watching the movie We Bought a Zoo for the first time. This movie has been around for a couple of years, although I have not seen it until now. I also want to say that although I will give a synopsis and my interpretation of events in the movie and how they may relate to thoughts I have had in my life; it is not intended to be a complete review. In fact, so as to not be influenced by critical reviews, at the time of writing this post, I have not read any such reviews. With that, allow me to continue by saying that this movie is excellent. If you have seen it, perhaps you share a similar opinion, perhaps even for similar reasons as me. I am not one to say that any movie is the best I have ever seen up to that point, mostly because I have no way of measuring the validity of such a statement. Also because different movies carry different meanings for me, it would be like comparing apples and oranges. I will say, however, that this movie absolutely ranks among my favorites and if I were to make a subjective list of the best movies I have ever seen, it would be on there. Before going further, I want to take the opportunity to say that this post may contain spoilers, so if you have not seen it and wish to do so first, I encourage you to. Perhaps then you can let me know what you think relative to what I have said.

We Bought a Zoo is about a single father, named Benjamin Mee (Matt Damon), who is raising two children named Dylan (Colin Ford) and Rosie (Maggie Elizabeth Jones). The movie starts with a narration by Benjamin’s son, Dylan who explains that his father is a writer who craves adventure, and which is largely the motivation for his writing. Benjamin’s wife has recently died due to “an illness” leaving him to raise the relatively young children on his own. As Dylan explains in the opening narration, none of his “adventures” have prepared him for the upcoming one. Specifically, being a single father who is struggling to raise the kids while also trying to move forward and start a new life that is free from the pains of the past. Of course, this “new” adventure would also include moving to the country, opening a zoo, struggling with the financial risks associated with a very large investment, and facing the realization that the past is something which will remain a part of us but does not have to prevent us from having a future.

As time passes, the family, especially Benjamin and Dylan have trouble moving forward with their lives. This occurs to the point that Benjamin avoids going to many of the places which had significance to him and his late wife, and Dylan becomes a troubled teenager who spends most of his time working on dark and sometimes gruesome drawings involving decapitated bodies and characters that are visibly in physical or emotional pain to varying degrees. For Benjamin his avoidance of areas of significance from his past life means that he has trouble going to a large number of places including restaurants, certain areas of town, and even specific aisles in the grocery store which remind him of his wife. Dylan finds himself expelled from school after stealing money from a cash box. As it turns out, this was his third time being suspended in a semester, which results in his expulsion from school. Soon thereafter, Benjamin has a profound realization that the only way for him to move forward with his life is to completely start over at a place where everything does not remind him of his wife.

He decides to begin searching for a new home where he can raise his children and begin life anew. He eventually finds a large house in the country, surrounded by green hills and mountains. There is more than meets the eye, however. As it turns out, this house is also a part of a zoo which has been closed 2 years prior, and the animals are only kept by small amounts of funding from the state government. In purchasing the property the buyer will also be purchasing the zoo, animals, and group of zookeepers which maintain the place and animals to a small degree, while also agreeing to upkeep the zoo. As the real estate agent suggests, if the property is not sold soon, the animals will likely be put down and removed. After quarreling with the idea of buying the place, Benjamin decides that it is the sort of change he needs. This decision represents adventure for Benjamin and comes after seeing the excitement that his daughter has with the possibility of living there.

Not without significant and ongoing resistance from Dylan, the family packs up their things and moves to the new home. Once there, Benjamin invests all of his money into improving the zoo and meeting regulations imposed by the USDA with the goal of opening for business a few months later. During this development phase, Benjamin is faced with making some exceedingly important decisions regarding the future of the place, including using a surprise sum of $85,000 from his wife, which she secretly stored for him in a safety deposit box shortly before she  passed away. By the time the opening day arrives, Benjamin is mostly broke but the zoo meets USDA inspection and is ready for business in time for excited zoo-goers. Also, he and his son are faced with the painful realization of just how little progress they have actually made in moving forward from their previous life. This previous life, of course is completely dictated by their sadness of loss and inability to let go. The two have a poor father-son relationship and Dylan remains very secluded in his lifestyle, despite the attention of a pretty young girl named Lily (Elle Fanning) who helps out around the zoo. It is obvious at times that Dylan enjoys her company but the unresolved pain he has prevents him from accepting something new into his life that may result in more eventual pain if that were also lost. Benjamin, similarly also finds himself hung up on his love for his late wife. He is still wearing his wedding ring and admits to the beautiful head zookeeper, Kelly (Scarlett Johansson), whom he likes but has trouble saying so, that he will never be able to let go of his past and move forward in terms of truly loving another woman. This comes in an evening discussion between the two when Benjamin says that although he has left the city and everything that reminded him of his wife, she is still there. In fact, she is everywhere. She is a part of him and his family and he sees her as he looks into his son’s eyes.

The inability of Benjamin and Dylan to grow comes to a climax, however when the two have a heated argument the same night of Benjamin’s confession to Kelly. Dylan had heard Benjamin as he said that he sees his wife every time he looks Dylan in the eyes, and Dylan interprets this as Benjamin’s inability to love him. Specifically, seeing his wife every time he looks into Dylan’s eyes would prevent him from moving on with his life without his wife. Benjamin suggests that Dylan is remaining secluded and moving around sadly and unable to help the family with anything in their quest to rebuild the zoo, and that this is the problem in their relationship. Indeed, the real issue is in their inabilities to let go of the hurt from the past and move forward together in a renewed, loving relationship. In the next few scenes, the two are able to reconcile and immediately become closer.

Benjamin and Dylan’s reconciliation is accompanied by Benjamin’s realization and acceptance that he must make the decision to put down an old and weakening tiger that is at the zoo. Previously, Benjamin was hesitant to do this because he kept holding on to the hope that the tiger would improve with medication. In fact, he initially insisted that the zookeepers continue to provide the tiger with medication and visits from a quality veterinarian. Finally deciding that it is in the best interest of Benjamin and the tiger to put him down is symbolic in a really important way. Specifically that Benjamin is finally realizing how to let go of things that are beyond his control and preventing his own personal growth. As it is, Benjamin and Dylan reconcile, the tiger is put down, and the climax of the movie comes shortly thereafter when Benjamin is finally able to scroll through the pictures and a video of him and his wife and kids which he had stored on his laptop – something he was previously unable to do. This climax is very emotional for Benjamin as he weeps and imagines the video which he is watching as if it were actually playing out before his eyes in his living room. This scene is extremely important because it marks the point at which Benjamin finally realizes that he can proceed with his life without feeling as if he is not being faithful to his wife. It is a painful realization, but frees him nonetheless. Further, he can also continue to remember her and the important role she played in his life while also being able to achieve his own personal growth. In fact, there is one point in this scene when Benjamin is looking at a picture of his wife with her eyes closed. As he is imagining the picture to be real, his wife proceeds to open her eyes and smile at him as if to give Benjamin the release he needs in order to move forward. It is as if she is telling him that she loves him and she knows that she will always be in his heart, but that is OK if he moves forward with his life and gives his heart to another woman. At this point, a tear begins to run down Benjamin’s face as he realizes the incredible transformation from his old life to his new one that has just happened. It was as if Benjamin always wanted to move forward but did not know how to do this until this very moment. The movie concludes by Benjamin acting on his obvious love for Kelly, as they share a kiss on a day that was sunny when it was supposed to be rainy, and in the midst of an amazing opening day which saw an enormous crowd of people come to celebrate the re-opening of a zoo that would otherwise have been doomed to fail.

As I have mentioned, this is among my favorite movies of all time. The symbolism seen in the movie is meaningful and profound. The challenges experienced as a part of the human condition are portrayed so well in this movie that I am certain many people appreciate and have been moved by this film, or at least can relate to it in some way. The primary difficulty of the characters in this story is their inability to achieve growth within themselves and their relationships with other people. This is evident by their clinging to the past, which is accompanied by depression and inability to form new, close relationships, as was the case with Dylan, or by avoidance of painful situations which reminded him of his wife, as was the case with Benjamin. Benjamin could not go to certain areas of the grocery store, he could not drive down certain roads, and he could never return to the same diner where he met his wife for the first time. Prior to the climax of the film, he could not even scroll through the pictures of his wife which were saved on his computer.

Growth is a slow and painful process. This is especially true when the growth must come because of the result of a significant loss, and at the very fiber of your being, you want nothing more than things to be as they used to be because you never asked for such a loss to occur. Growth, however, must occur if one is to live a truly happy life wherein love is a central theme, after suffering such a loss. This growth cannot occur, however, unless we decide to confront the issue headfirst, holding nothing back. Prior to the climax of the movie, Benjamin was merely running away from the problem without actually admitting to himself that the only way he would achieve personal growth was if he actually confronted his fears. Once this would occur, it is likely that he would be able to love another woman in the same way that he had loved his wife. He had to enter a painful realm within his heavy heart that was previously avoided. This was partially because of the pain which it involved, but also because he simply did not want to live without his wife as the primary object of his affection. It did not matter that she was not actually there anymore. The point was that he still felt as if he was faithful to her and honoring her spirit because he had not given himself to another woman. He couldn’t. Not at least until this part of him was put to rest. Figuring out exactly how he could achieve the ability to love again was something he had to patiently wait for, but also have the courage to do. As he said to his son at the point of the movie when he and Dylan were reconciling after their fight, and in regards to Dylan’s love for Lily, if you muster up the courage for 20 seconds of bravery, it can make a difference for the rest of your life. This statement is symbolic of the difference which Benjamin needed to decide to make in his own life. He had to muster up the courage to confront his fear of letting go so that he could further grow as an individual, and especially to love another human being the way he had loved his wife. It is interesting to note that the same “20 seconds of courage” theme was present at the point when he first met his wife in the diner, which he was afraid to enter, and at the point when he had to let her go. Letting his wife go was something that he had to decide to do when he was ready. Furthermore, it required significant courage because of the pain associated with completely closing one chapter of his life and starting a new one which would result in significant growth and happiness, albeit with another woman. In my opinion, this courage began to develop at the point when Benjamin finally decided that he had to put the ailing tiger down. While it is true that he wanted to start a new life by moving to a new place and escaping all that reminded him of his wife, it is also true that he was doing just that – merely escaping and avoiding what he actually had to do to ensure his own personal growth. This decision to put the tiger down took tremendous courage and a deviation from his traditional stance of not giving up hope that the tiger could pull through. This deviation is similar to the decision he had to make to actually let his wife go and allow himself to fully heal. He did not know how to do this and furthermore, it was too painful to even confront. Once he decided to confront the problem, he had immediately trekked into uncertain territory in the hope that it would result in his own personal release and subsequent growth. It is interesting to note here that throughout the movie, Benjamin is described as an adventurous person who is not afraid of taking risks. This is evident in his daring escapade through a hurricane in a helicopter in order to obtain material to write a book, his work with killer bees to write a story on them, and his complete investment in the zoo. Despite the risky behavior he had elicited, he had tremendous trouble risking the pain he would feel if he let his wife go and tried to move forward without her. This again is an interesting and accurate portrayal of the conflicting feelings one might experience as a part of the human condition. In the end for Benjamin, however, he was able to confront his personal troubles and invite the growth that he craved for so deeply. Interestingly, the same “20 seconds of courage” which he needed to let his wife go were very much the same which freed his son from the same pain. As I mentioned, prior to Dylan healing, he was infatuated with his drawings. These drawings undoubtedly were symbolic of the pain he was feeling inside. The dark pictures reflecting death and loss were exactly the same pain he was feeling throughout much of the movie. As a result, he led a secluded and troubled life. He was hesitant to welcome change, especially when that change was a deviation from his past life. The move to the country and zoo pulled him away from the home he had always lived in – from the home which he associated with his mother. This change, of course was met with tremendous resistance. Also, despite his obvious attraction for Lily, he could not let her come inside of his personal space. Most likely, he felt dependent on the idea that he loved his mother and could not move past that. This dependency precluded him from forming new relationships, especially those which were based around love. That part of him was sealed off to the world. Furthermore, if he opened it up he may risk losing the dependency of the loving relationship with his mother while also making himself vulnerable to feeling the same sort of pain in the future if he lost, for example, Lily. The theme of “20 seconds of courage” is what saved him, however. In a rainy scene, where the rain is symbolically washing away the pain, stubbornness, anger, and depression which he feels in regard to his past, he sees that Lily had rearranged the letters on the window of her bedroom to say “If you love me let me know.” He immediately decides this is his chance to be brave and open himself up to new love. He runs to her window, confesses his true love to her, and the two embrace as Dylan takes a tremendous step is his own healing and personal growth.

We Bought a Zoo is based on the actual events portrayed in the book of the same name by Benjamin Mee. It is a wonderful portrayal of the power of love to heal a person, but to also hurt them. It is a story of personal growth and new life that occur in the course of a lifetime, but also about the pernicious events that one may experience in a lifetime. As is evident, and even symbolized in this story due to the word’s use in the movie, such pernicious events can include the loss of a loved one which can severely damage a person to such a degree that progress can become extremely difficult or impossible. Love, as the movie portrays has the power to bring new life to an individual who is struggling severely with loss. The growth that can result from love, however, is painful, lengthy, and requires significant energy on the part of the person who is trying to seek such personal growth. If they are steadfast in the search for growth and healing, however, a person can use the love and human spirit which they possess to help advance them through this difficult and painful process that can be an inevitable part of the human condition.

Dog Days of Summer

Here I am in the dog days of summer in Tanzania. Things are up and down. The coolest thing that I have  done lately is attend a training for a secondary project in Iringa, Tanzania. It's a pretty sweet town and has very high elevation. Some say it's around 7,500ft, but I can't officially confirm that. Either way, it's pretty chilly despite it being summer. The training I have been at is for a program called ZINDUKA, which is a youth intervention program that uses soccer to provide education to in and out of school youth on topics like HIV/AIDS and Malaria. As I have previously blogged about, this program is a part of the GrassRoots Soccer program which was started in South Africa ~5 years ago as a way of putting an end to the HIV/AIDS epidemic. They have recently begun addressing the problem of Malaria in Sub-Saharan Africa, as well. I'm pretty excited about bringing the program back to my school, and I think the kids will really enjoy it. To find out more about the program, you can google "grassroots soccer" and follow links to the website.

Many different thoughts are to follow and aren't necessarily in any order: As it is, I have been in Tanzania for just under 8 months now. Things are ok. Some days are better than others, but all in all things aren't so bad. It's easy to get frustrated sometimes when people mess with you around town, but you try and be as patient as possible. Mostly it is because we (PCV's) are strange people in a foreign land, and when we leave our village, people take note in the new places that we visit. There is the same basic interaction with every Tanzanian that you meet, whom you haven't met before. They call you by the magical 6 letter word that every white person has to deal with, most of them assume you don't know the language, and a good number of them insist that you don't know Swahili even after hearing you speak. Granted, our Swahili isn't perfect, that same interaction gets old. Unfortunately that will continue to happen for the duration of my stay in Tanzania, but you try your best to find a way to deal with it. The attention and stares and strange behavior that many people direct towards you aren't so bad individually, but the fact is this happens every where you go outside of your village, any day of the week, and several times a day. This sort of stuff can wear on you, of course, but you try and find unique ways of measuring success in your service so that hopefully you can feel fulfilled and happy. It's no easy task, however.

I miss people. I miss family, friends, and other loved ones and I wish I could come visit. I don't want to move back to America just yet, but I just want to come and say hello. See how things are going. See my home again for a little while. Living far away from your home and culture can produce these sort of feelings, and anyone who says they don't is probably lying or unfortunately has no family or friends back home, which is probably extremely unlikely. I think about riding my bike a lot. Almost every day. Not necessarily to race, but just to have that feeling again of going fast under my own power, feeling the wind blowing by me, and hearing the hum of the tires on the pavement. One of the first things I want to do when I get back, even if it's just to visit, is ride my bike. I'll love that.

I miss good beer. Not because I like to drink a lot, because I don't. Really. I just miss having a really good beer with my friends and sharing the experience of indulging in something so natural and refreshing with people who appreciate it in just the same way. That is another one of the first things I will do when I return.

I miss running with my teammates. Some of them are gone from school, but many of them remain. I miss 10 milers in the state park and 17 milers in the national forest. Those days were good and they unfortunately went by too fast. It's easy to make excuses not to run, but when you have experienced the old days of running with your brothers and going to battle, just the same, on Saturdays it's hard to find that same meaning and motivation in your running. Things were just different then and it's a sort of magic that I haven't felt since those days. Those are days I will always cherish and although I have had to move on, they are still with me. It is a blessing and a curse in just the same way. It is difficult to run and train the same way when you have felt such a fond love for the game and those who it is shared with, but then have no way of finding it again. I still run, but it's different. Of course, the blessing is that I have those fond memories which I can call on, but the curse is that they are just memories now. A good story to tell or reminisce about.

I miss West Texas. I had a lot of beautiful moments out there in those mountains underneath some of the most beautiful night skies in the world. There was solitude, comfort, and in many cases, great friends with whom I was able to share those days and that environment with. I want to go back. As soon as I am able, I want to be back under those night skies, just to experience them again. Be it Fort Davis or Big Bend Ranch, one day I will be back. Hopefully with that same group of friends sharing the same sort of experience as before. I want to go back to McDonald Observatory. I want to look through the telescopes and see Saturn again. That was and will always be one of the most memorable experiences of my life. It made me feel like a kid again, as I smiled from ear to ear in a surreal sort of disbelief that I was actually staring at the planet Saturn. It was as close to magic as I have experienced, I believe, in my adult years to date. Of course, it's just a planet and we have seen pictures in books, but to see it for the first time with your own eyes like that...is truly...amazing. It reminded of my days as a child when I was so enthusiastic about learning about outer space. I always wanted to be an Astronaut and go to outer space. I wanted to feel the sensation of floating. I wanted to see the earth from a perspective that only a handful of people in the history of our existence have seen. It seemed so amazing, and still does. Seeing Saturn that night in West Texas brought me back to that state of amazement. I miss that. Soon, my friends I will be back and we can reminisce together about the times we have shared. These "friends" I speak of know who they are and I miss you all. Even more, I love you all as my brothers and can't wait to see you again.

I am finding satisfaction in my service and can say that I am dedicating a part of my life to a cause that few people have. Not that that gives me any sort of entitlement, it's actually just the opposite. It humbles me in that I know that I can be satisfied with myself each night that I go to bed because I am living a story that I wouldn't mind telling my future kids and wife. I know that although I get frustrated when people annoy me or stare at me or say ridiculous things to me at the bus stand, there are people in my village who actually like to see me and enjoy talking to me. There are also people in America, especially friends and family, who love the fact that I am here and doing what I am doing, living and learning within a free and modest lifestyle that gives me space to reflect and serve. I wish for nothing more than to never let you down. I am also humbled in the fact that I am a part of a family of Peace Corps volunteers who can share an experience and story that few people can relate to or even understand. I try to remember this and realize that at the end of the day, I am living a life that is worth living. I appreciate that and have always felt that that is a struggle that we as humans face. We yearn for love and acceptance, friendship, family, and when everything comes to an end, we hope that we are a little closer each day to the type of person we want to become. We want our life to mean something, whether for others or for ourselves, we want our existence to have some sort of meaning, regardless of the criteria we use to measure that "meaning". I appreciate that I can say that my life has "meaning" in this regard and that people appreciate my existence. Still, it is hard sometimes as people, regardless of their culture, can destroy this feeling. I am patient, though. Times will be good, and times will be bad, but all in all I am humble and satisfied in my existence and my service. I appreciate being able to share these thoughts with everyone who cares to read, and I wish that you find the same sort of meaning in your endeavors. Live a life worth living and a story worth telling. Take care my friends.

Usiwe na wasiwasi, Tutashinda!

GUESS WHAT!!??!! The world is not coming to an end. Not at least until January 6^th 2013. You ask how I know, do you? Well consider this: The Sam Houston State Bearkats are headed back to the FCS National Championship to seek revenge on the North Dakota State whoevers*. The game is slated to be played on January 5^th, so the Mayans forgot about that little tidbit when they decided to end their calendar prematurely. Once we win, bring on the fiery inferno of balls of flaming fire and feisty bison that want nothing more than to eat you for dinner because they are cold weather animals and the earth’s temperature is rising dramatically as the world is ending!! Wait, did I just say “bison”? Indeed, they are called the North Dakota State Bison. Whatever, it doesn’t matter anyway. By January 6^th 2013 they will have lost and the world will be over and we will all die happy Bearkats.

Now, onto more pressing issues like a blog post that I have been meaning to write for some time. I apologize for the lengthy delay, but a lot of exciting things have happened in my Peace Corps life. Firstly, there was Thanksgiving with great friends. You probably think that I had an amazing Thanksgiving filled with a cornucopia of AMAZING food in an amazing house with an oven, stove, western toilet, tile floors, microwave, hot showers, and fresh baked bread. If this is the case, then you are exactly right. The only problem with any of that was the bad flour that I used to bake the bread. Pole sana marafiki zangu (very sorry my friends), the bread didn’t turn out well despite having all of those modern appliances at my disposal. I should have just trusted my intuition and thrown that flour out! It’s a good thing the thanks-givers weren’t relying on that bread for dinner. Yes, that truly was an amazing Thanksgiving. Phenomenal, really. Before coming to Tanzania I just wouldn’t have imagined such a celebration, but it was THAT awesome. To top it all off, I can now say that I have also had dinner next to the largest lake in all of Africa at one of the fanciest tourist restaurants I have been to in this country. To digress just a bit, this is one of the coolest, yet possibly overlooked, parts of Peace Corps. I am here in this country where I can experience it in a way different from almost every other person in the world. Here’s what I mean: I can live the high life at the ritzy tourist places (like a nice Tepanyaki/Hibachi Grill, see below) OR wander into a small one- room house where an extremely poor family who speaks no English lives in the middle of the village and enjoy myself just the same. Tourists don’t get to do that. 99.9% of Tanzanians don’t get to do that. For that reason alone, Peace Corps is an incredible opportunity. They give you the tools and ability to experience this country is such a unique way, as a well-educated Tanzanian would. 

Now, back to the story; Thanksgiving ended well and I traveled to Morogoro for In Service Training (IST) with my classmates (people I came to Tanzania with).  IST was great and I learned so much about the opportunities available to me in Peace Corps, in terms of secondary projects I can do in my community. Most of these opportunities have to with HIV/AIDS and malaria prevention and awareness. One such program is called Zinduka, which is the Swahili word meaning something like “awaken suddenly”. This program uses soccer to teach kids about HIV/AIDS and Malaria, while also giving them an after-school activity to become involved in, where they otherwise might be idle after school has ended. If you want to learn more about this program, you can google “grassroots soccer program” and you should find plenty, as well as the website by the founders of this program. Zinduka basically took the grassroots soccer program concept and adapted it for Tanzania, while also giving it a Swahili name. I have applied to take part in the program and can report to you how it goes if I am selected to become a Zinduka coach! If I am selected, I will have to go to a 5 day training workshop before I can start the program at my school. Also at IST, we tended to some technical stuff that we have to be aware of as Peace Corps Volunteers. For example, how to monitor and evaluate projects to ensure their success, professionalism in our work and proceedings, how to apply for grants for school libraries, boys and girls conferences, etc., how to carry out permagardening at our sites with local materials, and how to report what we are doing at site. The reporting is very important so YOU can know how YOUR tax dollars are being spent over here in Tanzania. Of course, we have to show that we are actually taking measures to try and affect positive change in our communities. It’s our way of telling our story to the U.S. government.

Half way through IST, we continued the PCV tradition of IST Prom. It was so great! I am certain I had more fun there than I did at my senior prom. We had great food, drinks, music, lots of awesome dancing, AND I was crowned prom court jester! Apparently my classmates think I am funny. At least funny looking. Following my crowning, I had the dance floor to myself, where I performed my best rendition of Gangnam Style. If you don’t know it, YouTube it. It was truly magical. I don’t think anyone got it on film, so it will only exist in my imagination. It’s probably better that way, anyway.

I was elected Prom Court Jester!

Hands off my pizza!!!

From there, IST carried on and ended bila tatizo (without complication/trouble), at which point I traveled to quite possibly my favorite area of Tanzania, the Southern Highlands. The weather is so great here, elevation is high, mountains dominate the landscape, and running is great here! This is really important for me, as I am officially training again as a runner. I will go run the Kilimanjaro half marathon next March, with the goal of becoming the first non-African finisher in the race. In other words, if you’re confused, I want to beat all of the other white people in the race. Last time I told someone I wanted to become the first non-African finisher, they told me that was very ambiguous insinuating that no other non-Africans had ever finished the race, so I wanted to clear that up for you too. Anyways, it hasn’t been so bad getting used to running again since I was pretty fit after finishing the Insanity program during the first few months at my site. It was absolutely difficult, but I finished it and got a little stronger and more flexible in the process. The half-marathon will be March 3, so I still have some time, but I can’t waste anymore in my preparation! Also during my escapade down south, I had the distinct opportunity of watching MY SHSU Bearkats eat up the Eastern Washington Eagles from my hotel room! I guess it’s possible I was the only person in Tanzania, maybe on the entire continent watching the game. What a cool thought! Sure the game got a little scary towards the end, but it was more than worth staying up until after 4a.m. local time to watch. I WAS SO EXCITED!!! I can’t wait until everything goes down on January 5^th! You better believe I will be watching that one.

From here, I will be celebrating Christmas with friends, travelling a little more for the new year, and then heading back up to my site before school opens again next month. All told, it has been a great last couple of months, here in Tanzania, as this new blog suggests. My Kiswahili (by the way, “Kiswahili” is the Swahili word for “Swahili”) has improved even more, and in fact, I love finding myself in situations with Tanzanians that speak absolutely no English. This is a pretty common occurrence if you wander into the village or off of main roads into small mgahawas (food places) where the mama cooking only knows Kiswahili and her tribal tongue. It is the best way to practice the Swahili that you know, as I am sure you can imagine. Plus I see it as a celebration of the work I have put in to learn the language, so it is a fun way to see my personal progress. To my close friends reading this, you know who you are; you are so welcome to join me in Tanzania before August 2014 to come experience the Tanzania that I now call home! We would experience Tanzania as both a Tanzanian would, as well as how a tourist might. It’s the best of both worlds! I know that is a significant challenge given the financial commitment, but I just want you to understand you are more than invited if it were at all possible for you to come here. If you are, talk to me and I’ll help you out with what you need to do to make it happen. One thing to bear in mind is that once you get here, everything is super cheap by American standards. Getting here is the issue. For now, I am going to wind up but know that everything is going great for me, and as more things develop with my Peace Corps service, I will keep you updated! Take care my friends and I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year with your family. Tutaongeana tena na usiogope kunipigia simu au nizungumzie katika skype. We will talk to each other again and don’t be afraid to call me on the phone or converse with me on skype. Baadaye! Later!

*I thought about looking up the name of their mascot, but I thought that calling them the “whoevers” was more appropriate since it really doesn’t matter, because we are going to win this year, anyway. Then I remembered the name of the mascot was “Bison” and it made my alliteration a little funnier, at least in my opinion.

Time for Introspection

Do you save time each day, or most days, for quiet introspection? I am talking about the level of introspection where you look into your mind and you find out what your real desires are. A level of introspection that I would consider “deep” is that level which allows you to come into touch with your values, beliefs, and deepest personal desires that you have in this life. Such a “deep” level of introspection may show you what your true convictions are and as a result, could bring you closer to allowing those convictions to construct and govern the foundation of who you are as a person. If you have attended this sort of introspection, maybe you are in touch with the type of person you want to be. Conversely, maybe you have found that there are certain things about yourself that are bothering you. Maybe you find some behavioral pattern that is not healthy, or there is some deep internal desire that you aren’t sure how to get in touch with until you become honest with yourself and search inside. Also, maybe if you saved time for quiet introspection, you might be able to release stresses that you have in your life that might prevent you from finding fulfilling happiness. There are other ways of releasing stresses in life and oftentimes people turn to alternative methods to bring about an altered mental state to release stresses or to become introspective. I’m not going to say that I am for or against this sort of tactic for achieving the level of introspection that people may be searching for. Indeed, many people, whether they admit it or not, use alcohol just for this purpose. My primary purpose in writing this is to reflect on the importance of saving time in your life for quiet introspection. It is this sort of introspection which will bring you more in touch with the kind of person you are and ultimately lead you toward the kind of person you wish to become.

I believe that without the deep level of introspection that I have described above, we are sure to be distracted from the basic values and convictions that govern our lives. If that is the case, might we say that we are only puppets of someone else’s agenda? So often in life we find ourselves rushing here or there to squeeze something extra into each day. These things, we justify, are productive in accomplishing some end result that we have in mind. Maybe they do help us accomplish one more task at work, but what if they actually distract us from being more in control of ourselves? They might prevent us from becoming the type of person that we want to become or from having the kind of thoughts we wish to prevail in our mind. Also, in western culture it is easy to find ourselves plugged into the media through internet and TV which, if left unchecked, can lead us into varying directions before we realize the change that has occurred. Of course, this is the point of advertising and political propaganda which dominates our media and internet. That is to say, the point of advertising and political propaganda is to ultimately get you to act in a certain way. In effect, they are bringing you further from the deep introspection that will help ensure that you are actually in control of your own life. To digress just for a second, this may bring up another biological AND philosophical debate. That is, can you ever be entirely in control of your own life. Richard Dawkins, evolutionary biologist, would say that we, as specimens of life, are only bags of genes walking about with little to no control over our collective actions (behavior) because those constituent genes govern our thoughts, activities, and desires and are the result of millions of years of tinkering which has been done by Mother Nature. In short, we are slaves to our genes because the humble gene governs EVERYTHING. Of course, this gene centered view of life falls apart somewhat with humans because of the complex societies that we have built. These complex societies and cultures have such a strong influence on how we behave that they have necessitated the formation of an entirely new branch of science – sociology. This, my noble and faithful readers, brings me around full circle to the original intention of this post and to the end of my digression. My apologies.

Excessive TV and internet consumption, as a result of advertising, distractions, or political propaganda may prevent you from finding the thoughts you wish to find. If you are aware of the deleterious effect that internet and TV can have on your introspection, you will be motivated to turn them off for a few minutes. Now, you can have your thoughts to yourself. You can scratch any itch that you may have that is a stressor from the day, you can work closer toward the kind of person you wish to be, and most importantly you can figure out what your deepest desires, feelings, values, and satisfactions are. Perhaps for me, this is why I love camping, listening to music which supports my current mood, running and cycling, sitting outside on a dark night gazing up at the stars, or just simply sitting in nature or in a quiet place. All of these things allow me to come more in contact with my own thoughts. I have the chance to see what they tell me and to interact with them by shaping them how I wish. I fear that if I never allowed myself the time to do this, it would never happen. I think this is also important in relationships and marriages. Further, I think that engaging in a serious relationship before allowing yourself to come closely in touch with your values and basic foundation of what drives your existence may preclude a successful marriage. Although it should be obvious from my previous posts about love and life, this is something I spend a lot of time thinking about. I find myself wondering what leads to successful relationships and marriages. Different people may have different answers based on religious views or sociological influences, but regardless, I think that a good understanding of the basic foundation of what you regard as key to your existence is important. The basis of this foundation includes your values, your partner’s values, and your moral compass, among other things.  If it were not for trial and error through introspection, you may not be able to find the basis of this foundation.

As with the other blog posts I have made, this is a central theme in my Peace Corps experience. I have A LOT of time. Sure, I have lessons to prepare for my students, a foreign language to learn, and locals to interact with, but that only consumes a small percentage of my time. Outside of that, I have my thoughts. I stop watching the movie or TV show which is preoccupying me on my laptop, usually turn on some music and think about things. I think about thinking. I think about life, love, and finding fulfillment in what I do. One thing I have been absolutely convinced of is that at the end of the day if you can say that you love yourself, then you have already made progress along the path toward living a fulfilling life. It’s true that having a person or people that you love in varying degrees to share your life with is essential, but I feel as if that will be much more likely if you love and understand yourself first. I think you can become closer to finding that sort of love and understanding if you save some time for deep introspection. Give it a shot and see what you find. It could lead to fulfilling and beautiful things.