Dog Days of Summer

Here I am in the dog days of summer in Tanzania. Things are up and down. The coolest thing that I have  done lately is attend a training for a secondary project in Iringa, Tanzania. It's a pretty sweet town and has very high elevation. Some say it's around 7,500ft, but I can't officially confirm that. Either way, it's pretty chilly despite it being summer. The training I have been at is for a program called ZINDUKA, which is a youth intervention program that uses soccer to provide education to in and out of school youth on topics like HIV/AIDS and Malaria. As I have previously blogged about, this program is a part of the GrassRoots Soccer program which was started in South Africa ~5 years ago as a way of putting an end to the HIV/AIDS epidemic. They have recently begun addressing the problem of Malaria in Sub-Saharan Africa, as well. I'm pretty excited about bringing the program back to my school, and I think the kids will really enjoy it. To find out more about the program, you can google "grassroots soccer" and follow links to the website.

Many different thoughts are to follow and aren't necessarily in any order: As it is, I have been in Tanzania for just under 8 months now. Things are ok. Some days are better than others, but all in all things aren't so bad. It's easy to get frustrated sometimes when people mess with you around town, but you try and be as patient as possible. Mostly it is because we (PCV's) are strange people in a foreign land, and when we leave our village, people take note in the new places that we visit. There is the same basic interaction with every Tanzanian that you meet, whom you haven't met before. They call you by the magical 6 letter word that every white person has to deal with, most of them assume you don't know the language, and a good number of them insist that you don't know Swahili even after hearing you speak. Granted, our Swahili isn't perfect, that same interaction gets old. Unfortunately that will continue to happen for the duration of my stay in Tanzania, but you try your best to find a way to deal with it. The attention and stares and strange behavior that many people direct towards you aren't so bad individually, but the fact is this happens every where you go outside of your village, any day of the week, and several times a day. This sort of stuff can wear on you, of course, but you try and find unique ways of measuring success in your service so that hopefully you can feel fulfilled and happy. It's no easy task, however.

I miss people. I miss family, friends, and other loved ones and I wish I could come visit. I don't want to move back to America just yet, but I just want to come and say hello. See how things are going. See my home again for a little while. Living far away from your home and culture can produce these sort of feelings, and anyone who says they don't is probably lying or unfortunately has no family or friends back home, which is probably extremely unlikely. I think about riding my bike a lot. Almost every day. Not necessarily to race, but just to have that feeling again of going fast under my own power, feeling the wind blowing by me, and hearing the hum of the tires on the pavement. One of the first things I want to do when I get back, even if it's just to visit, is ride my bike. I'll love that.

I miss good beer. Not because I like to drink a lot, because I don't. Really. I just miss having a really good beer with my friends and sharing the experience of indulging in something so natural and refreshing with people who appreciate it in just the same way. That is another one of the first things I will do when I return.

I miss running with my teammates. Some of them are gone from school, but many of them remain. I miss 10 milers in the state park and 17 milers in the national forest. Those days were good and they unfortunately went by too fast. It's easy to make excuses not to run, but when you have experienced the old days of running with your brothers and going to battle, just the same, on Saturdays it's hard to find that same meaning and motivation in your running. Things were just different then and it's a sort of magic that I haven't felt since those days. Those are days I will always cherish and although I have had to move on, they are still with me. It is a blessing and a curse in just the same way. It is difficult to run and train the same way when you have felt such a fond love for the game and those who it is shared with, but then have no way of finding it again. I still run, but it's different. Of course, the blessing is that I have those fond memories which I can call on, but the curse is that they are just memories now. A good story to tell or reminisce about.

I miss West Texas. I had a lot of beautiful moments out there in those mountains underneath some of the most beautiful night skies in the world. There was solitude, comfort, and in many cases, great friends with whom I was able to share those days and that environment with. I want to go back. As soon as I am able, I want to be back under those night skies, just to experience them again. Be it Fort Davis or Big Bend Ranch, one day I will be back. Hopefully with that same group of friends sharing the same sort of experience as before. I want to go back to McDonald Observatory. I want to look through the telescopes and see Saturn again. That was and will always be one of the most memorable experiences of my life. It made me feel like a kid again, as I smiled from ear to ear in a surreal sort of disbelief that I was actually staring at the planet Saturn. It was as close to magic as I have experienced, I believe, in my adult years to date. Of course, it's just a planet and we have seen pictures in books, but to see it for the first time with your own eyes like that...is truly...amazing. It reminded of my days as a child when I was so enthusiastic about learning about outer space. I always wanted to be an Astronaut and go to outer space. I wanted to feel the sensation of floating. I wanted to see the earth from a perspective that only a handful of people in the history of our existence have seen. It seemed so amazing, and still does. Seeing Saturn that night in West Texas brought me back to that state of amazement. I miss that. Soon, my friends I will be back and we can reminisce together about the times we have shared. These "friends" I speak of know who they are and I miss you all. Even more, I love you all as my brothers and can't wait to see you again.

I am finding satisfaction in my service and can say that I am dedicating a part of my life to a cause that few people have. Not that that gives me any sort of entitlement, it's actually just the opposite. It humbles me in that I know that I can be satisfied with myself each night that I go to bed because I am living a story that I wouldn't mind telling my future kids and wife. I know that although I get frustrated when people annoy me or stare at me or say ridiculous things to me at the bus stand, there are people in my village who actually like to see me and enjoy talking to me. There are also people in America, especially friends and family, who love the fact that I am here and doing what I am doing, living and learning within a free and modest lifestyle that gives me space to reflect and serve. I wish for nothing more than to never let you down. I am also humbled in the fact that I am a part of a family of Peace Corps volunteers who can share an experience and story that few people can relate to or even understand. I try to remember this and realize that at the end of the day, I am living a life that is worth living. I appreciate that and have always felt that that is a struggle that we as humans face. We yearn for love and acceptance, friendship, family, and when everything comes to an end, we hope that we are a little closer each day to the type of person we want to become. We want our life to mean something, whether for others or for ourselves, we want our existence to have some sort of meaning, regardless of the criteria we use to measure that "meaning". I appreciate that I can say that my life has "meaning" in this regard and that people appreciate my existence. Still, it is hard sometimes as people, regardless of their culture, can destroy this feeling. I am patient, though. Times will be good, and times will be bad, but all in all I am humble and satisfied in my existence and my service. I appreciate being able to share these thoughts with everyone who cares to read, and I wish that you find the same sort of meaning in your endeavors. Live a life worth living and a story worth telling. Take care my friends.

Usiwe na wasiwasi, Tutashinda!

GUESS WHAT!!??!! The world is not coming to an end. Not at least until January 6^th 2013. You ask how I know, do you? Well consider this: The Sam Houston State Bearkats are headed back to the FCS National Championship to seek revenge on the North Dakota State whoevers*. The game is slated to be played on January 5^th, so the Mayans forgot about that little tidbit when they decided to end their calendar prematurely. Once we win, bring on the fiery inferno of balls of flaming fire and feisty bison that want nothing more than to eat you for dinner because they are cold weather animals and the earth’s temperature is rising dramatically as the world is ending!! Wait, did I just say “bison”? Indeed, they are called the North Dakota State Bison. Whatever, it doesn’t matter anyway. By January 6^th 2013 they will have lost and the world will be over and we will all die happy Bearkats.

Now, onto more pressing issues like a blog post that I have been meaning to write for some time. I apologize for the lengthy delay, but a lot of exciting things have happened in my Peace Corps life. Firstly, there was Thanksgiving with great friends. You probably think that I had an amazing Thanksgiving filled with a cornucopia of AMAZING food in an amazing house with an oven, stove, western toilet, tile floors, microwave, hot showers, and fresh baked bread. If this is the case, then you are exactly right. The only problem with any of that was the bad flour that I used to bake the bread. Pole sana marafiki zangu (very sorry my friends), the bread didn’t turn out well despite having all of those modern appliances at my disposal. I should have just trusted my intuition and thrown that flour out! It’s a good thing the thanks-givers weren’t relying on that bread for dinner. Yes, that truly was an amazing Thanksgiving. Phenomenal, really. Before coming to Tanzania I just wouldn’t have imagined such a celebration, but it was THAT awesome. To top it all off, I can now say that I have also had dinner next to the largest lake in all of Africa at one of the fanciest tourist restaurants I have been to in this country. To digress just a bit, this is one of the coolest, yet possibly overlooked, parts of Peace Corps. I am here in this country where I can experience it in a way different from almost every other person in the world. Here’s what I mean: I can live the high life at the ritzy tourist places (like a nice Tepanyaki/Hibachi Grill, see below) OR wander into a small one- room house where an extremely poor family who speaks no English lives in the middle of the village and enjoy myself just the same. Tourists don’t get to do that. 99.9% of Tanzanians don’t get to do that. For that reason alone, Peace Corps is an incredible opportunity. They give you the tools and ability to experience this country is such a unique way, as a well-educated Tanzanian would. 

Now, back to the story; Thanksgiving ended well and I traveled to Morogoro for In Service Training (IST) with my classmates (people I came to Tanzania with).  IST was great and I learned so much about the opportunities available to me in Peace Corps, in terms of secondary projects I can do in my community. Most of these opportunities have to with HIV/AIDS and malaria prevention and awareness. One such program is called Zinduka, which is the Swahili word meaning something like “awaken suddenly”. This program uses soccer to teach kids about HIV/AIDS and Malaria, while also giving them an after-school activity to become involved in, where they otherwise might be idle after school has ended. If you want to learn more about this program, you can google “grassroots soccer program” and you should find plenty, as well as the website by the founders of this program. Zinduka basically took the grassroots soccer program concept and adapted it for Tanzania, while also giving it a Swahili name. I have applied to take part in the program and can report to you how it goes if I am selected to become a Zinduka coach! If I am selected, I will have to go to a 5 day training workshop before I can start the program at my school. Also at IST, we tended to some technical stuff that we have to be aware of as Peace Corps Volunteers. For example, how to monitor and evaluate projects to ensure their success, professionalism in our work and proceedings, how to apply for grants for school libraries, boys and girls conferences, etc., how to carry out permagardening at our sites with local materials, and how to report what we are doing at site. The reporting is very important so YOU can know how YOUR tax dollars are being spent over here in Tanzania. Of course, we have to show that we are actually taking measures to try and affect positive change in our communities. It’s our way of telling our story to the U.S. government.

Half way through IST, we continued the PCV tradition of IST Prom. It was so great! I am certain I had more fun there than I did at my senior prom. We had great food, drinks, music, lots of awesome dancing, AND I was crowned prom court jester! Apparently my classmates think I am funny. At least funny looking. Following my crowning, I had the dance floor to myself, where I performed my best rendition of Gangnam Style. If you don’t know it, YouTube it. It was truly magical. I don’t think anyone got it on film, so it will only exist in my imagination. It’s probably better that way, anyway.

I was elected Prom Court Jester!

Hands off my pizza!!!

From there, IST carried on and ended bila tatizo (without complication/trouble), at which point I traveled to quite possibly my favorite area of Tanzania, the Southern Highlands. The weather is so great here, elevation is high, mountains dominate the landscape, and running is great here! This is really important for me, as I am officially training again as a runner. I will go run the Kilimanjaro half marathon next March, with the goal of becoming the first non-African finisher in the race. In other words, if you’re confused, I want to beat all of the other white people in the race. Last time I told someone I wanted to become the first non-African finisher, they told me that was very ambiguous insinuating that no other non-Africans had ever finished the race, so I wanted to clear that up for you too. Anyways, it hasn’t been so bad getting used to running again since I was pretty fit after finishing the Insanity program during the first few months at my site. It was absolutely difficult, but I finished it and got a little stronger and more flexible in the process. The half-marathon will be March 3, so I still have some time, but I can’t waste anymore in my preparation! Also during my escapade down south, I had the distinct opportunity of watching MY SHSU Bearkats eat up the Eastern Washington Eagles from my hotel room! I guess it’s possible I was the only person in Tanzania, maybe on the entire continent watching the game. What a cool thought! Sure the game got a little scary towards the end, but it was more than worth staying up until after 4a.m. local time to watch. I WAS SO EXCITED!!! I can’t wait until everything goes down on January 5^th! You better believe I will be watching that one.

From here, I will be celebrating Christmas with friends, travelling a little more for the new year, and then heading back up to my site before school opens again next month. All told, it has been a great last couple of months, here in Tanzania, as this new blog suggests. My Kiswahili (by the way, “Kiswahili” is the Swahili word for “Swahili”) has improved even more, and in fact, I love finding myself in situations with Tanzanians that speak absolutely no English. This is a pretty common occurrence if you wander into the village or off of main roads into small mgahawas (food places) where the mama cooking only knows Kiswahili and her tribal tongue. It is the best way to practice the Swahili that you know, as I am sure you can imagine. Plus I see it as a celebration of the work I have put in to learn the language, so it is a fun way to see my personal progress. To my close friends reading this, you know who you are; you are so welcome to join me in Tanzania before August 2014 to come experience the Tanzania that I now call home! We would experience Tanzania as both a Tanzanian would, as well as how a tourist might. It’s the best of both worlds! I know that is a significant challenge given the financial commitment, but I just want you to understand you are more than invited if it were at all possible for you to come here. If you are, talk to me and I’ll help you out with what you need to do to make it happen. One thing to bear in mind is that once you get here, everything is super cheap by American standards. Getting here is the issue. For now, I am going to wind up but know that everything is going great for me, and as more things develop with my Peace Corps service, I will keep you updated! Take care my friends and I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year with your family. Tutaongeana tena na usiogope kunipigia simu au nizungumzie katika skype. We will talk to each other again and don’t be afraid to call me on the phone or converse with me on skype. Baadaye! Later!

*I thought about looking up the name of their mascot, but I thought that calling them the “whoevers” was more appropriate since it really doesn’t matter, because we are going to win this year, anyway. Then I remembered the name of the mascot was “Bison” and it made my alliteration a little funnier, at least in my opinion.

Time for Introspection

Do you save time each day, or most days, for quiet introspection? I am talking about the level of introspection where you look into your mind and you find out what your real desires are. A level of introspection that I would consider “deep” is that level which allows you to come into touch with your values, beliefs, and deepest personal desires that you have in this life. Such a “deep” level of introspection may show you what your true convictions are and as a result, could bring you closer to allowing those convictions to construct and govern the foundation of who you are as a person. If you have attended this sort of introspection, maybe you are in touch with the type of person you want to be. Conversely, maybe you have found that there are certain things about yourself that are bothering you. Maybe you find some behavioral pattern that is not healthy, or there is some deep internal desire that you aren’t sure how to get in touch with until you become honest with yourself and search inside. Also, maybe if you saved time for quiet introspection, you might be able to release stresses that you have in your life that might prevent you from finding fulfilling happiness. There are other ways of releasing stresses in life and oftentimes people turn to alternative methods to bring about an altered mental state to release stresses or to become introspective. I’m not going to say that I am for or against this sort of tactic for achieving the level of introspection that people may be searching for. Indeed, many people, whether they admit it or not, use alcohol just for this purpose. My primary purpose in writing this is to reflect on the importance of saving time in your life for quiet introspection. It is this sort of introspection which will bring you more in touch with the kind of person you are and ultimately lead you toward the kind of person you wish to become.

I believe that without the deep level of introspection that I have described above, we are sure to be distracted from the basic values and convictions that govern our lives. If that is the case, might we say that we are only puppets of someone else’s agenda? So often in life we find ourselves rushing here or there to squeeze something extra into each day. These things, we justify, are productive in accomplishing some end result that we have in mind. Maybe they do help us accomplish one more task at work, but what if they actually distract us from being more in control of ourselves? They might prevent us from becoming the type of person that we want to become or from having the kind of thoughts we wish to prevail in our mind. Also, in western culture it is easy to find ourselves plugged into the media through internet and TV which, if left unchecked, can lead us into varying directions before we realize the change that has occurred. Of course, this is the point of advertising and political propaganda which dominates our media and internet. That is to say, the point of advertising and political propaganda is to ultimately get you to act in a certain way. In effect, they are bringing you further from the deep introspection that will help ensure that you are actually in control of your own life. To digress just for a second, this may bring up another biological AND philosophical debate. That is, can you ever be entirely in control of your own life. Richard Dawkins, evolutionary biologist, would say that we, as specimens of life, are only bags of genes walking about with little to no control over our collective actions (behavior) because those constituent genes govern our thoughts, activities, and desires and are the result of millions of years of tinkering which has been done by Mother Nature. In short, we are slaves to our genes because the humble gene governs EVERYTHING. Of course, this gene centered view of life falls apart somewhat with humans because of the complex societies that we have built. These complex societies and cultures have such a strong influence on how we behave that they have necessitated the formation of an entirely new branch of science – sociology. This, my noble and faithful readers, brings me around full circle to the original intention of this post and to the end of my digression. My apologies.

Excessive TV and internet consumption, as a result of advertising, distractions, or political propaganda may prevent you from finding the thoughts you wish to find. If you are aware of the deleterious effect that internet and TV can have on your introspection, you will be motivated to turn them off for a few minutes. Now, you can have your thoughts to yourself. You can scratch any itch that you may have that is a stressor from the day, you can work closer toward the kind of person you wish to be, and most importantly you can figure out what your deepest desires, feelings, values, and satisfactions are. Perhaps for me, this is why I love camping, listening to music which supports my current mood, running and cycling, sitting outside on a dark night gazing up at the stars, or just simply sitting in nature or in a quiet place. All of these things allow me to come more in contact with my own thoughts. I have the chance to see what they tell me and to interact with them by shaping them how I wish. I fear that if I never allowed myself the time to do this, it would never happen. I think this is also important in relationships and marriages. Further, I think that engaging in a serious relationship before allowing yourself to come closely in touch with your values and basic foundation of what drives your existence may preclude a successful marriage. Although it should be obvious from my previous posts about love and life, this is something I spend a lot of time thinking about. I find myself wondering what leads to successful relationships and marriages. Different people may have different answers based on religious views or sociological influences, but regardless, I think that a good understanding of the basic foundation of what you regard as key to your existence is important. The basis of this foundation includes your values, your partner’s values, and your moral compass, among other things.  If it were not for trial and error through introspection, you may not be able to find the basis of this foundation.

As with the other blog posts I have made, this is a central theme in my Peace Corps experience. I have A LOT of time. Sure, I have lessons to prepare for my students, a foreign language to learn, and locals to interact with, but that only consumes a small percentage of my time. Outside of that, I have my thoughts. I stop watching the movie or TV show which is preoccupying me on my laptop, usually turn on some music and think about things. I think about thinking. I think about life, love, and finding fulfillment in what I do. One thing I have been absolutely convinced of is that at the end of the day if you can say that you love yourself, then you have already made progress along the path toward living a fulfilling life. It’s true that having a person or people that you love in varying degrees to share your life with is essential, but I feel as if that will be much more likely if you love and understand yourself first. I think you can become closer to finding that sort of love and understanding if you save some time for deep introspection. Give it a shot and see what you find. It could lead to fulfilling and beautiful things.

What's in a Name?

Allow me to begin by apologizing for the significant length of time since my last blog post. I have decided that I want to blog when I feel most inspired to write something that I am spending time thinking about, which as it turns out, is almost every day. You may wonder then, why have I not been blogging more often? It is a good question, indeed, and the best answer I can give is that I have been lazy. I have spent time thinking and talking to a few of my friends here about some of the things on my mind, but I just haven’t been entirely motivated to put fingers to keys and type it out. Another thing I would like to mention, and apologize for ahead of time, is that the title of this blog post is somewhat deceiving. In fact, I don’t plan to write at all about names, their meanings, their associations with particular cultures, or how they affect the way a person is perceived. Indeed, that is another discussion I would like to have with myself, and then share with you. So, why then have I titled this blog in this way? I will attempt to answer this question in the following paragraphs.

After coming to Tanzania, I began learning Swahili. I must say that my thoughts regarding language acquisition have shifted somewhat after learning this language and then subsequently trying to live in the culture that speaks it. Before coming here, I took a foreign language in high school like everyone else, but the difference is that I was still living in America and when I left the classroom I could speak English. I didn’t have to rely on the Spanish I was learning to communicate needs or converse with people. Further, I was able to connect with the people I interacted with on a deeper level because we shared commonality in language. Once I hit the ground in Tanzania, I still had other Americans I saw every day during training, so all was not entirely lost. Fast forwarding 10 weeks, though, I found myself on my own and in my village with only Swahili speakers. Sure, I could communicate basic needs and converse a little, but the ability to connect with people on a deeper emotional and intellectual level was completely gone. Luckily, I have a phone and can call other PCV’s, but for all intents and purposes, I found myself immediately separated from the people I lived with.

As my Swahili has been improving, I have noticed a few things about language acquisition and how I now think about it. One can think about learning a new language as merely learning new words, comparing them to your native language, and trying in earnest to remember them. Of course then, you are faced with the task of trying to access the databank of knowledge that is the foreign language, as you try to form sentences and converse with people. It’s probably the case that you don’t stop comparing a foreign language to your native one until much later in the stages of learning the language, but what if we think about new language acquisition a little differently? Using the scenario that I have just described, we can think of language as a large set of words or phrases which are memorized so that you are capable of hearing the words, translating them to your native language, formulating a response in your native language, translating that response, and then delivering it to the opposing party. In other words, learning a new language is like learning a bunch of new definitions. I have decided though, that a language is so much more than this. A language is in the culture and in the people. It is one way that people express commonality in culture, by having similar ways of verbally and non-verbally communicating with each other. In fact, if this is the case, it becomes evident why one could expect various dialects of a language to exist. The particular dialect has been largely influenced by the culture in which it has developed. The words may be similar, but are used slightly differently or there may be entirely new words present in the language. Compare British English and American English. Also, think of communicating at the global level. Many people with different native languages communicate in English as a means to an end, and that can be really interesting as they each bring their own language and cultural influences to the linguistic table.

At this point, allow me to back up for a second with the way that we think about language. At the most basic level, a word is nothing more than a random arrangement of letters that we have decided to give a particular meaning to. For any critics reading this blog, let me clarify the previous statement. It is true that some words are formed as a result of adhering to specific rules set forth in a language. For example, the contraction “can’t” is spelled the way it is because we have rules in the English language that say that the word “cannot”, when used as a contraction, must be spelled this way. Therefore, by definition “can’t” is not a random arrangement of letters. Of course, other words are of historic origin from the most primitive languages and by virtue of being borrowed words or derivatives of borrowed words, they can’t be considered as consisting of a random arrangement of letters. When we think about the foundations of language, however, the random arrangement of letters makes sense. I can speculate that as we evolved and began writing things down, we assigned particular characters to particular sounds that we made when we communicated. Language can be thought of as an agreed upon, standardized way of communicating with people who decided to play by the same rules of that particular language. In that sense, a word or symbol is nothing more than an agent for provoking a particular response or feeling in an individual. We developed characters or letters, arranged them in some order, and assigned a particular meaning to them. We decided that when we see a particular “word” or symbol we will react in a certain way if we have learned or decided to play by the rules of that language.

In accordance with the previous discussion, we can say that as you have been exposed to a language and culture for long enough, you have been trained to respond to a set of verbal and non-verbal cues such that you are now able to adequately connect with the people you are interacting with. This sort of training is something that undoubtedly takes years of exposure to completely master. For example, at the present moment, I would say that I have become much more comfortable with my Swahili, but I still encounter challenges adequately understanding or formulating proper responses in social encounters. I can listen to what people have to say, understand their words, be able to translate them into English, but still not be entirely clear what the message is. The cultural or social context within which the word or words was used is unfamiliar to me, and not necessarily the words. The entire package that is “language fluency” is so much more than just understanding the definition of words. As I have learned it is also about being coached to produce a particular feeling or emotion when a word is heard within a particular social or cultural context. This indeed takes time, but rest assured I am working on it!

At this point, I should tie up a loosed end or two by clarifying my seemingly random title. I have only chosen this title because, as you know, I am in Africa at the moment, The Lion King was filmed in Africa (yes it was), and “what’s in a name” is a line said by Timon during the song “Hakuna Matata”. Further, I have decided that this title makes sense because, as far as I am concerned, “what’s in a name?” means something more like “the process of learning a new language, as Travis has experienced in Tanzania”. Of course, we can agree that these two arrangements of words do not convey the same meaning because we have been taught otherwise. If everyone would agree with my language revolution and then trained themselves long enough, we could eventually change the meaning of this phrase such that it evokes a different feeling or mindset when we hear it. The point I am trying to make is that a language is one of many agreed upon ways of conveying a particular message to another individual because it is capable of evoking a particular emotional response or mindset when used as dialogue between two communicators. We are trained, as learners, in our respective cultural context to produce this particular mindset or emotional response after we have been exposed to our language and culture for a significant period of time. It is my opinion, therefore, that it would be a pity to think of “language” as simply a bunch of words with associated definitions that are only memorized and then used in conversation.

In other news, I have been at my site for about 6 weeks now and all is going well. I started teaching a few weeks ago and the students are getting more used to me. At first, I practically had to threaten them to get them to talk to me in the classroom. Yes, I am joking but they didn’t want to talk in any language. I wasn’t entirely sure if they were shy because I was new or if they have just been taught to not speak in the classroom. After insisting it was OK if they talked to me, provided it was relevant to the lesson, they opened up a bit more. Outside of teaching, I feel as if I am integrating well into my community and I have begun talking more and more with the locals. In fact, many people are now calling me by name, and if they haven’t seen me for a few days some even call me on the phone to check up on me. Can you say INTEGRATION! I have also begun talking to some of the students about starting some groups outside of school, but there is no rush on that since I just got here. Basically, the groups could be anything from informal hangouts and talking in formal groups where we discuss teen issues, educate the villagers about various issues (e.g. HIV/AIDS, Malaria, etc), or even participate with nationwide youth groups carrying out fundraisers, or doing small business development projects. The small business development projects would be cool because I could teach them everything from managerial skills to opening a bank account and even creating some product or service and marketing it to a particular target audience within a given niche in the village. I will let you know more about that as time passes, though.

Also, a few words if any of my loyal readers want to send me anything in the mail. One of the biggest things I miss is letters, American candy, and American media, including new release movies, TV shows, and music! Of course, you’d send that on a flash drive. If you did want to send that, I would definitely appreciate it, but just contact me on Facebook first to make sure I don’t already have what you would send. You never realize how much you liked American pop music until you hear it in Tanzania. It makes you feel American for the moment. Candy has a similar effect! If you wanted to mail something, my address is

Travis Kocurek, PCV

P.O. Box 75

Gallapo Secondary School

Babati, Manyara, Tanzania

Also, if you do mail something a flat rate bag/large envelope is best. You can cram as much as you want into it for one price and the bags are better than flat rate boxes because as far as I understand, I won’t have to pay customs on them. The larger flat rate boxes are a little trickier in terms of avoiding customs fees. Thank you all so much for the support, and to my close friends and family, I love you all! Take care and stay in touch!!

Travis

Observations on Love, Life, and Afterlife

Before arriving in Tanzania, I had numerous thoughts regarding the importance of love and beliefs in a person’s life. I have had discussions with different people, many of whom are some of my best friends and may or may not share the same ideas as I do, but nonetheless they have challenged me and stimulated deep thought on important topics. “Important topics”, I should qualify, are those which I feel deeply about and consequently affect (and reflect) the values and proceedings in my own life. In short, they are topics which define the person I am. I have never written about some of these ideas, but now I have the time and at least 2 readers of my blog who may be interested in what I have to say.

Now that I am in a situation where I have had time to think and organize some of my thoughts, I have decided to tackle the task of putting “pen to paper” and conveying some of these ideas in the best way I know: to escape to a place where I am motivated to write and am able to organize these ideas with minimal digression. I should reiterate that these ideas are only those which are important to me and I am not advocating that they are the best nor most appropriate way to lead one’s life. Also, you may or may not agree to some of them, but in any case I hope you will enjoy what I have to say and be stimulated to think a bit.

Let me begin by talking about the importance of love and passion in life. I believe there are several different levels of love and I will try to thoroughly explain what love means to me and why I feel as if it is so important to love. Firstly, there is the love that you have for other human beings, in general. In my case, this is something that I have realized is a struggle, but important nevertheless. It is really easy to be spiteful or to have some degree of hatred toward others, especially after they have wronged you. Perhaps it is even easier to be envious of the possessions or accomplishments of others. Maybe you have predetermined ideas about a person or a race and thus, will not be proactive in taking the opportunity to learn from and understand that person or group of people. I make the argument, however that this is not the best way to conduct one’s life. To live with hatred or envy of others in your heart will blind you from the experience of truly experiencing and learning from those people. Maybe they have come from a background very different from your own, have experienced different things, and identify with a different culture or sub-culture, but why should this preclude interaction with these people? Further, why should this prevent you from understanding and embracing the differences that you share with this person or group of people? Is your culture or lifestyle superior in some way? As I have blogged about before, I believe that happiness is the gold standard in life and different people have different ways of finding happiness. Maybe it is true, however, that if you learn about other people you will also learn some things about yourself, and in the end, find more happiness than you had ever imagined. Of course, this would not be possible if you had proceeded with envy in your heart and hatred in your actions. Maybe it is also possible that the happiness you might experience has come about because you have had a rich life experience while you were interacting with and learning from other people. Life, I believe, is about experiencing the unknown, learning as much as you can, and trying your best to find happiness in all that you do. If you can live life with love in your heart, I think it will be easier to find true happiness.

As I have mentioned, I believe that love exists on multiple levels. Different from the general feeling of love you may have for other human beings, you have love for your close friends and love for the culture with which you identify. I believe it is so important to realize that human beings value their culture and identity. Why not celebrate the fact that we are all capable of living with such passion and thus, embrace any differences we may share? Use these differences as an opportunity to learn and grow within yourself. Maybe you will learn more than you thought you would. Perhaps you will meet new friends that you wouldn’t otherwise have met, and they will affect change in you that will be for the best. Maybe you will learn that it is possible to love other human beings that you wouldn’t have previously realized you could. In any scenario, you may be exposed to views different from your own and this will stimulate personal inflection that will ultimately affect the type of person you become.

Then, of course, there is the love that you have for your work or daily proceedings which may, in part, identify who you are. In my case, I was formerly a competitive distance runner. This was how I identified myself, and if you had taken that away from me, I would not have been left the same person. I loved what I did and I loved the teammates that I did it with. Because I loved what I did, it was remarkable how satisfied I felt once my collegiate running career was over. I wasn’t satisfied that it was over, but satisfied that I could be honest with myself with the effort and passion that I put into what I did. I often wondered while I was still on the team how I would identify myself once it was over. Perhaps this was due to vanity on my part or an insistence that nothing else mattered besides my running, but in the end other things came along and I was accepting of the new things because I was content. Of course, the teammates and friends that I had strongly influenced my outlook and the passion that I put into what I did. When you are surrounded by people who approach their work (or in my case, training) with passion, you can’t help but be motivated to do the same. Passion is contagious. If you proceed with passion, you give yourself the best possible chance to be happy in the end because you know you have been honest with yourself and with your efforts. Ultimately, if you can be honest with yourself and with your efforts because you have proceeded with love and passion, the chances of you being happy in the end will be much greater.

This brings me to another point. Because we aren’t really guaranteed anything beyond what we have right now in this one moment, we can think of love and passion as a finite resource that we are capable of possessing and investing. If we measure success in our life by the amount of love we invest into our friends, romantic relationships, and proceedings, we realize that where we are investing our love, we are investing our life*. To clarify, we are only capable of loving ourselves, others, and our work to the point when we are no longer alive. At this point, the basic molecules which comprise our body are recycled for use by future life on this planet, and the only thing left by us is the love we have given others. Hopefully we have served as an example of the power of love for future generations and our spirit, for lack of a better term, can live on through them. Perhaps this is the best way to think about an afterlife, as a way to live on through others because you have shown them love, given them love, or affected change in them such that they are proceeding with the love that you previously had. As I have also previously mentioned, my best friends that I have in this life have affected such change in me by serving as examples and challenging me when I needed to be challenged. I’m not quite sure what more a person could ask for in their friends and role models, but it would be a pity to fail to acknowledge the change a person has undergone by continuing to proceed without love and passion in their life. Maybe you will affect such change in others and they will be able to carry out their life in a similar way. In any case, maybe they will begin to understand the importance of experiencing life with passion in their proceedings and love in their heart. I could only hope that this will result in a rich life experience and the realization that regardless of culture and nationality, we are all members of the same human race, are all made of the same basic ingredients, and for the most part, all have the same basic desires to love and be loved.

Now as I begin to conclude, allow me to say that I have decided that it is best to approach life and pursuits with love and passion. The happiness that I experience when I have decided to approach my work and relationships with love, as I have previously defined, goes much further than the superficial happiness that material possessions can bring. If you approach your life with love and passion, maybe you can affect others by showing them the true happiness that passion and love can bring them. If you can’t say you ended with the best of all possible outcomes, at least you can say that you have given all of the love you possibly could have to the person or pursuit. Maybe you have learned about other people, yourself, or have affected change in another person. Perhaps once you are gone you will continue to live on in the form of the love and passion you have given them. Realizing that this frame of mind is capable of bringing you happiness is such a humbling thought; primarily because it only requires a decision on your part. This, for me, is a great way to measure happiness in life.

*“In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. And where you invest your love, you invest your life.”   -Mumford and Sons

Quick recent happenings in Tanzania: I am nearing the end of training and will be sworn in as a PCV in less than 1 week! I am so excited to finally be able to move into my own home and to call myself a “PCV”. I have finished all final exams, have done well, and will be allowed to swear in. Not that it was necessarily difficult, but I still had to meet minimum standards with technical training and language proficiency. I will leave my host family and Morogoro this Saturday and will spend a few days in Dar es Salaam next week. I will then be sworn in on Wednesday the 15^th and will travel to my site on the 16^th. I have so much I want to accomplish at my school and things that I want to do in and around my house! Hopefully I can find the time and energy for it all. I also hope to have more good news to share about my village, school, and site, as time progresses. For now, stay in touch, and to my friends and family: I hope you are all doing well back in the States and I love you all! Take care.

-Travis